2 under 4 and struggle going out

[iwantsunshine1]

I have ds who is 3.5 and severely speech delayed and developmentally behind and a 13 month old who doesn't walk yet. My eldest when walking either walks the wrong way, into roads, or refuses to walk and wants to be picked up. When we leave anywhere he has an absolute meltdown and refuses to leave. He hates going in a pram and I need pram for youngest. To go out on my own with the just the kids is so stressful and hard work it's makes me not want to go out. Anyone else struggle with this and can offer any advice?

Will your big one use a scooter, balance bike or one of those trikes with a handle? Perhaps the novelty would make him more compliant? The little one could go in a carrier if you need hands to deal with the big one.

How about a buggy board with seat on pram?
And a toddler Tula sling?

The sling can be used on back up to 20+kg so you can use for either child, ie out younger one in and eldest in pram if needed.

Buggy board for sure. Although be prepared to have all the stuff in a backpack as in my experience buggy boards can make prams more precarious.

I feel your pain. I have a 1 year old and 2.5 year old. We have a double pram which has been a lifesaver but if not we would have got a buggy board as per the PP’s suggestion.

Do you have a car? I find it easier to drive to places so the 2 year old doesn’t have to do too much compliant walking like by a road. I also pick the places we go to carefully. Ideally soft play, playgroups and parks that are all contained in one room so I can keep an eye on both at the same time. If we do go to bigger and busier places (like the farm for example) I tend to carry the little one for a bit while we follow the toddler around. We then go to the under 2 section where I will shamelessly bribe the toddler into sitting quietly for a bit with chocolate so the 1 year old can enjoy themselves as well.

Reins, plenty of time and deep breathing.

Buhhy board with reins attached to pram in case he does a runner.

Or as others have suggested, the push aalong bike/scooter thingies.

Double pram and a distraction e.g. snack,ceebeebies magazine, lift the flap book (whatever will work for yours) - i found getting them in was difficult, but once in they were fairly compliant.

Decent back carrier for youngest with reins on oldest.

Good luck! It's all about practice, so try out different strategies with small, low stakes walks and see what works.