Upping hours when kids are little, feel really sad and conflicted

[missyasprogs]

With my eldest after maternity leave I only worked two days a week and we did so much together. With my youngest after maternity leave there's been around six months of me working three days.

I have had an opportunity arise that realistically I can't turn down, but I'm going to be working four days a week and feel really upset about that. They aren't little for long and I'm going to be missing a lot of it, it feels.

I'm lucky in that one of these four days my baby will be at home with my husband, and I'll be working from home everyday, so I'll only be upstairs and will get to see them throughout the day. I'm also lucky in that I can do all the school/nursery runs and not rely on wraparound. This is why I've gone for it, despite the extra day, because long term especially once both in school it is ideal. I just feel sad about the short term and missing out on my baby being a baby still

Has anyone had to up their hours whilst kids are little? How have you coped?

@missyasprogs You say you've "had an opportunity arise... that you can't turn down". Why can't you turn it down? Is it a money thing? Or an opportunity that you won't get again? Or something else?

@Tiredtoddlermama Such a shame (many) women still don't get a choice about how they want to strike a work / life balance. It seems it's turned on it's head compared to the old days, but the lack of choice remauns the same. I'm sorry you have no option. It sounds really tough, and I suspect many more (obviously not all) people feel the same to varying degrees re being hard-wired to want to be with their children the majority of the time.

I'd go as far as to argue there should be more policy supporting families to be at home with small babies and children, if that's what they want to do. But yeah I hate that on top of that, everyone's just supposed to crack on and pretend they're fine. Seems it's almost taboo not to do so in some circles... whereas there seem to be so many other non issues (imo) on MN for example, that get so much more sympathy, and where people are told their feelings are valid.

That's actually a good idea. I should also try to make at least once a week a fun day just to spend with kids and do what they want, or plan some fun activities myself. Besides, the weather is finally getting nice. So, we can spend more time outdoors.

Wow, how do you not feel you've missed out on any of if? They're changing all the time from 5 months until 2 years.

You do not need to observe them 24/7 to see them grow !!!