8 week old help!

[JeanieH]

Hi there,

First time poster and FTM to a fantastic 8 week old DS. I'm looking for some advice on day time with him.

Up until a few weeks ago day time followed the change, eat, sleep, repeat until bedtime flow quite easily. The last week or so I've found that DS naps in day time are a lot shorter now (sometimes only 30 mins) so when he wakes up I usually don't think he's ready for another feed (usually goes 2-3 hours, FF)

I usually will try putting him back over to sleep or trying to entertain him, this usually ends in crying and I offer a bottle - which sometimes he will take ok and other times he will be fussy and pull away (so clearly not hungry). I'm finding it really hard to read his cues and TBH it's making me feel like a terrible mum who can't tell what her baby needs.

Looking for any advice or similar experiences - do I just keep offering a bottle straight away after every wake up? TIA

Congrats on your DS! I have a DD who is 9 weeks and a DS who is 3 and I remember feeling the same as you with my DS back then.

In hindsight for me, I've found it's worth remembering that babies are technically newborn until 12 weeks so entertaining them won't ever last long and your options are limited (I usually sing songs, read books, just talk or pull funny faces, tummy time on a water mat or time in a play gym). Their needs are quite simple (although it's extremely full on and - dare I say it - relentless at times!), and often all they really want is you and a cuddle, or they do in fact want more sleep but can't yet connect a cycle or know how to self soothe - if you find that's the case you can try some things and see what works for your baby (white noise, rocking, shushing, dummy, going for a walk in the pram, etc). Unfortunately, as I found and am finding again, sometimes it is a case of working your way through a list of potential issues of what's wrong until you find the issue.

I've found with both my kids the long newborn sleeps ended around 6-7 weeks old so you're not alone at all. My DD is also much less patient and less easily entertained/soothed than my DS was. I used to walk 3x a day with DS (born in lockdown so options were very limited) as this worked for him and I didn't mind the fresh air and movement. It's harder now to get out with a newborn and a toddler so I'm having to find other ways to settle DD.

By the time my DS got to 16 weeks his routine was a lot more structured. He had naps at regular intervals as his cues were easier to read, he was going a bit longer between feeds and sleeping much better at night time. Every child is different but from this point I found it a lot easier to manage with DS.

You've got this, I promise it does get easier, and remember that you are both doing this for the first time together. You're still learning each other and figuring it all out, be kind to yourself. Sending lots of hugs and support x

Thank you @Lottie917 for your reply - honestly it's so reassuring to know that I'm not alone! I know deep down that this is normal newborn behaviour but it doesn't make it any easier at the moment!

I've found that the soothing tactics that worked for the first 7 weeks now aren't as effective - for example I used to be able to stick him in the pram and walk for 2 hours and he would sleep most of the time. I took him out earlier this week and he spent most of it looking round him 😬 slept for 30 mins!

Yep I remember that! Honestly the game constantly changes as they grow, and as they grow and change so much in their first year it feels never ending sometimes as to what works for them. I totally feel your frustration.

I remember our HV telling me that from 6 weeks their world gets a whole lot bigger and they are suddenly more aware of their surroundings so to expect more fussiness.

I remember buying a portable white noise machine to put in his pram while walking, sticking black and white picture cards to the inside of his pram hood to attempt to keep him distracted and always having dummies in my coat pocket when walking alone just didn't cut it. Ultimately white noise was always my go to for him as it usually helped him settle regardless of where we were / what we were doing, he also had it every nap time and at night. DD on the other hand just cries louder to be heard over any white noise 😅

I'd say definitely persevere with the things you enjoy doing, for example walking or going out to places, etc, even if he does cry through it or refuses to settle more often than not at the moment. It will pass as he gets bigger and because you will have kept it a consistent activity he'll be used to it once he's out of this phase and ready to be more chilled again.

Babies around 8 weeks often start taking shorter naps, and that's totally normal. If he wakes up from a short nap and still seems tired, you can try to help him get back to sleep.