Paying costs 7 months after graduation - ok to pull back?

[Figleaf]

Interested to hear from parents of class of 23 graduates. DS (23 later this month) has continued to live in the flat he lived in as a student with us paying monthly rent and weekly living costs (around £1350 a month). Rotten time at University (pandemic/ repeated a year/ got ordinary not honors) so we’ve tried to bear with him while he looks for work. I set end of May as deadline for the financial status quo ie find a job to meet his costs (or at least contribute towards them) or come home to look from here. Reasonable or harsh? It would help knowing what others are doing with their son/ daughter?

Over reasonable tbh
with you indulging there is no pressure for him is there?

More than reasonable. Time to stand on his own feet.

We were happy to cover rent while he was actively searching for work (and he was VERY busy applying, no messing about) and he lived on UC for his groceries

More than reasonable!
He needs to come home, find a job - any job until he finds what he really wants, or sign on.
And then pull his weight at home either through helping round the house and/or financially.

So he has no job at all?

He hasn’t worked since graduation?! At all?

Very generous. No way would my DPs have continued to cover my rent for a vanity project of living elsewhere with no job! Can't believe you have at all tbh, he needs to do what everyone else does who cannot afford to live independently and move back home! He's taking the piss.

Is there more to unpick here? Why didn't he get an honours? If he's clever enough for Uni, it should have been within his grasp. Was it the wrong degree? Was he depressed, lazy, or just distracted? What work is he looking for?

I agree that you've been very generous. Can you pay the rent for another 6 months, so he has a roof over his head in his preferred place, but stop the rest? It may sharpen his desire to get a job if he has no beer money. Plus, he won't be moping around at home.

No don't pay his rent for another 6 months. He has had plenty of time. You said may..stick with it.

That’s shocking… you can rent a room as a lodger in London for £500-600pm

way more than generous.

i graduated and was given the summer to get a job, then on my own from the September.

Thanks all , I think I knew you’d all say this but was just checking. Needed the support to do what I think is the right thing.