Today I decided to stop shouting at my toddler.

[Dragonbutter]

He's 3.5.
We had a chat about how much nicer it would be if we stopped shouting at each other.
We agreed and shook on it.

5 minutes later i found him drawing a line in pen from one end of the new rug to the other. Infact there was 2 lines.

You should have seen me. Through gritted teeth I managed to say.
"I really am very cross with you. Please don't do this. I am quite upset about this"

And all I wanted to do was run around shouting.

So here it is......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhh
WTF are you doing??????????????? We had to save up for that fucking rug!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew, that feels better.
Thanks

I salute you

me too. i would have gone bananas.

my 2 yr old did this and i cried - v. pricey rug. she didn't get it though.

well done for not shouting?

modern art?? ;)

sorry, that's 'shouting!' not 'shouting?'

anyone confused, cos I am...

My DD just got to 3.5 and suddenly started really pushing her luck in similar ways. Some days all I seem to do is shout, and it does my head in as a working mum who just wants to spend some lovely quality time with her. Anyone got any lovely positive mantras to repeat after such incidents to help you remain calm and serene in the face of vandalism?!

Thanks. Thankfully the pen came out with a wet cloth. I asked him to help me and he said no.
I was fresh from reading a parenting expert's book (i know, who need experts when you've got mumsnet) so was keen to stop raising my voice.
I've been yelling like a nutter for a few weeks now and so is he.
I need a bit of calm.

Mantras? Hmm interesting idea.

I was told this by a guy from zimbabwe once so imagine this in a lovely african accent..."all children are scientists, they investigate and test everything. they retest and retest just to know where your boundaries are and if they are still there. they just want to know where they stand"

I like that. But not really mantra like or easy to think of when you've just seen the rug you went on to DH about for so long be victim to vandalism.

hehehe!! thing is they start using it back at you! My dd2 (2.9) has started saying, if I won't acquiesce to her latest demand:
"Well, I'm not very happy with you right now!!! (I still love you though!)" Sigh!!

that's sweet.

Message withdrawn

I didn't put that big gap in my first post BTW! I don't know who put that there.

I made mine 'clean' a rug in a similar situation. She'd used a permanent marker. Quite some time later, when I think she realised the futility of cleaning, I let her know that the rug was ruined and the mark wasnt going to go away. Ever. 2 lessons learned - cleaning is interminable and pointless and some actions are irreversable worked tho

I just yell when DS is pissing me off. But make sure I tell him how much I love him and how great he is when he is being good. I mainly shout at DS for dawdling and stalling when we have to be somewhere else and he won't put his shoes on, etc...

I've been yelling, but am now sick of him yelling.
Am sure it's related.
I heard him practising that sort of 'ringing' you get in your voice when you really yell.

bump

Do you need to yell to get the message across?

no

sometimes whispering makes them focus more on what you are saying

I too have decided to stop shouting at my children

and tomorrow I will try to refrain from stringing them up by their ankles

Do you find that your children have started to string you up by your ankles, and all their friends?