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Parenting

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Original poster

1yo will only settle on boob- going away & don’t know what to do!

10 replies

BoldUser · 02/04/2024 22:43

My 1yo DS will only settle on the boob at night. We cO sleep after his initial 2/3hrs in cot.

I have to go away with work in 2 months. I’ll be away for 12 days, non negotiable. Terrified to leave him with my wife as he won’t settle for her at nighttime. Need to put a plan in place… any tips?! He doesn’t take a dummy or bottle.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Twolittleloves · 02/04/2024 22:55

That sounds incredibly tricky, with him being so reliant on it and likely still not old enough to understand- the only way is to probably gradually pull out of feeding him back to sleep and let your wife step in....maybe to start with feed him then let her cuddle/soothe him back to sleep after, then graduate to trying to skip whole feeds during the night (if he is up multiple times) allowing her to settle him completely with just cuddles and a drink of water (maybe even food if necessary) and try her trying to co-sleep with him, you in a different room and bed.

However not sure if that will all work for certain...he may still just want to feed if he knows its an option with you there/that is what he is used to.

And for 12 days apart, it might be kinder and easier to night-wean completely beforehand (and i say that as someone who is very Pro-breastfeeding for comfort)....that is a LONG time for a toddler to go without breastfeeding if they are so reliant on it.

Is there not some loophole you can use about being a nursing mother and not being able to leave your baby to go on this work trip?? 😕

fashionqueen1183 · 02/04/2024 22:56

Is there anyway your wife and child could come with you? Even half way for a couple of nights?
Your work has to follow health and safety rules ie making sure you don’t get mastitis so you will need time to pump too.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 02/04/2024 22:58

It will be totally different when you aren't there.
My son was fed to sleep by me every night until last week where I decided to stop breastfeeding as he kept waking up for milk and he's 2.5!
BUT he slept through the night any time he had a night away at my parents house!!

He won't smell you're milk, he will know you are away. Maybe try and build up a stash of milk so your wife can give him a familiar taste.

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1 year olds Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families

notnowmarmaduke · 02/04/2024 22:58

I expect he will struggle for a night or two then be fine

MumChp · 02/04/2024 23:00

They will do fine. He will settle with water from a cup in a few nights. Most children go though this.

Mydustymonstera · 02/04/2024 23:02

I agree that if you def have to do this trip for the whole 12 nights you should night wean first. And be warned that might mean end of breastfeeding though not necessarily.
start with keeping the first feed of night and the morning feed. Get a groclock or wait till it gets light. Do a social story book first and repeat the key phrases.
ask wife to do the first few nights and take time off work so she /u both can catch up on sleep in the day time as u won’t get much for first couple of nights. By night 3 you’ll have cracked it.

Original poster

BoldUser · 03/04/2024 22:46

Thanks all- appreciate your honesty and ideas!

Still nervous but now have a bit more of a plan. Night weaning starts after the weekend! 😬

OP posts:

Brandyb · 03/04/2024 22:50

It may well go more smoothly than you imagine. Mine did, and I was so scared but ended up not being able to implement any change before I went because it was hard. Once I actually went they adjusted quicker than expected. It is a thing that securely attached kids can go through

Mydustymonstera · 04/04/2024 12:13

Good luck!

Superscientist · 04/04/2024 12:34

Your wife will figure something out. The first night might be tough but they will figure it out

At 10 months my daughter only settled on the boob and didn't take a bottle or a dummy. I had to go into hospital to start on medication that I couldn't breastfeed on and my daughter got sent home to dad to try to get her on to formula. The first night was a lot of pacing in a sling and after that he still needed the sling but he could get her to sleep easier than me when I came home from hospital. After a few weeks it was back to preferring me once I figured out ways to get her to sleep now my secret weapon was done. She's 3 now and will accept both of us at bedtime but I'm still her preferred choice and overnight it's very rare she accepted dad but if I'm away for the night she knows it's only daddy and is fine.

There is a huge difference between what they will do when they know you are an option and when you aren't there at all

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