Toddler can't get to sleep

[mammybird]

My toddler (2) has always been a "bad" sleeper and as a baby we sleep trained using Ferber method. Over time, because bedtime had gotten so much easier and eventually she was sleeping through the night, we've gotten in the habit of staying with her until she is asleep. However this is extending bedtime so so much, tonight it took 4 hours and multiple times of leaving the room, coming back and resettling, leaving again etc. until eventually I was able to leave her sleepy, but awake, and go downstairs.

She is in a toddler bed so can get up and put of bed but not out of her room which I don't think helps but it wouldn't be safe to put her into a cot again as she climbs out.

Her naps have been pretty consistent with occasional instances of skipping but I don't think she is ready to drop the nap yet.

I just don't know what to do to reduce how long bedtime takes. I'm exhausted, my partner is exhausted and we just need a way out!

It's a clingy age- my 2.4yo little girl is similar.Trying not to give her a nap does mean she is much easier to settle, but she still needs hers sometimes too.

Are you sure your daughter is tired enough? Maybe she is not settling as she isn't ready to go to sleep.If mine doesn't seem tired I let her stay up and play with puzzles/books/her dolls house for awhile then we try again settling her abit later on in intervals, taking turns.Or sometimes she just puts herself into bed!
Could that work?

Thank you.

Definitely tired enough....have tried keeping her up a bit later and don't have a set bedtime particularly, we just wait till she's tired! Often she will lead us upstairs to bring her to bed and as soon as we get in the room it's party time 😭

I might try spend more time in her bedroom as a "play" area so she has the thought to stay up and read/play before she's ready to settle! Thanks ☺️

You might be putting her to bed too late. My 3 would go to bed about 6 to 6.30 at her age. You need to be consistent as well with bed time. I am quite a 'soft' parent but bed time is something I have always been strict about. Not to say they don't come into my bed during the night but they have always gone to bed in their own bed to start with! I have had to stay with them till they go to sleep, sitting on the floor, no eye contact or talking. Now with my youngest who is 8 we are up and down the stairs every 15 mins or so, sometimes for 2 hours. I would not encourage play time before sleep personally, playtime is playing time and sleep time is sleep time. It does suck but unfortunately some kids sleep well and others don't! It is exhausting but eventually it is easier, although my middle one was 11 before the up and down stairs marches stopped. My 2 youngest have ASD though, my oldest daughter doesn't and she was 8 before she settled by herself.