Husband wants to give money to nephew in will

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We are writing our wills and husband wants some money to go to his nephew. We have our own son and I don't think we will ever have enough money for him to have a super comfortable life (we're pretty solidly middle class). I could understand giving nephew money if we were loaded, but it seems unfair to our son to be giving his inheritance to his cousin (whose parents are in fact wealthier than we are). Kids are both under 3 so it's not like he has a particular bond with nephew.

He says it's a nice thing to do - should I argue for our son or am I being over the top & this is a normal family dynamic (it wouldn't be that much money either way).

Life interest trust

He's being silly. Your son won't be as well off as his cousin anyway so I take more money off your son to give to his cousin? It doesn't make any sense.

I think you and he are thinking about the will in different ways.

His way is a bit abstract, he isn't really picturing that he will be dead, he's thinking about the people he loves, being kind and giving everyone happy memories. So his argument is 'it's a nice thing to do'.

You are actually picturing that he is dead, leaving you as a single parent with a young child and all the bills.

If you could get him to think in this more practical way he may be more likely to see your point.

When our children were young, the main thing about our Wills was who was going to be Guardians for our children and that the money was there for grandparents to move house to accommodate looking after DC. When DC became adults, we changed our Wills for our dc to inherit everything. My Brother who isn’t married and no children has put in his Will all his nephews and nieces. I doubt very much my DC are included in my other Brothers Will and I wouldn’t expect them to be, as money should go to his DC.

I have ten thousand each going to my sister's girls.

My brother is quite rich, but my sister isn't.

I also have money for my youngest brother with sn's. Not a lot, but enough for him to do something fun.

Same ! Always have

Thanks for your replies, good to hear other perspectives.

Agree a token amount is ok when everyone's an adult, but we'd update them then anyway, it's the idea of leaving a child money who won't remember you and isn't your own child (who actually needs it). It makes more sense to leave an adult nephew enough for a bit of a treat as something to remember you by, but if he dies when they're kids the nephew would get it at 18 and not remember who it's from!

Yanbu OP. This would annoy me and seems a bit of a people pleaser action

If the other family are wealthier, is he hoping they will do the same for your son?

Is it his brother's child or his sister's?

What pressures? Sounds like they just didn't want to leave to charity

Charities can be a total and utter pain when they know there is a bequest. I've seen someone suffer the consequences.

I find this a weird attitude, as I said my SIL left the kids money. They don’t really remember her but DH talks about his sister and they know he had a sister who died etc. I think most families talk about and remember the dead?

I work in private client. Charities are under a duty to get the money, executors are under a duty to collect in and administer the estate.

If you leave a fixed sum to nephew, it's worth considering that your son could inherit less than nephew if insufficient left after care home fees. Always worth considering a % or some items - we have left some family items to my nephews.

@concernedchild Of course. And sometimes the charities aren't prepared to wait a reasonable amount of time for their money, and will push, pester, threaten legal action, and cause great stress and upset. I've seen it happen.

I am in same situation and worried that 20% will effect my son future and even his housing .
my husband thinks it’s nice thinks ( and it is ) but not 20% of his wealth ! We own 10 properties in Uk , large estate in prime place in italy , most of our money going In ro property’s is that mean i will have to evaluate properties prices and give millions to his niece and nephew?! There are also my money in this and how I must feel about it ?
I got 2 kids from my first marriage , o rather to share my money with them then my husband sister kids .
Same those kids are from both parents wealthy doctors ….

don’t know how to brake to my husband that it’s not rights what’s he’s doing … as I may have to end up selling our family home as result of his kindness.
I agree something to be remember is nice but not 20% …..

If it's a small fixed amount I would let him. A percentage expecially a large one would be a no.

This.