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Total training regression

12 replies

PalmTreeOne · 30/03/2024 16:46

My partner and I are at the end of our tether with no idea how to proceed. Our just turned 3 year old DS toilet trained at 2 years 9 months. It was difficult and took about 6 weeks but it was led by DS as he was ready for pants and the potty as proclaimed by him. Once toilet trained he spent a month with no accidents (he wore a nappy for naps and bedtime) and consistently took himself off to the toilet or asked us to take him every day and rarely needed any reminding whatsoever. He used a reward chart. Since then he has completely regressed to weeing through his pants 1-6 times daily, refusing to ever ask to go, protesting when taken and just refusing to participate whatsoever. 2 months on weve tried a new reward chart, tried extreme praise, tried saying nothing and have tried the methods consistently for 2 weeks each and, sadly, also shouting in absolute frustration (which I am ashamed to say). NOTHING works. We've ended up having to put him in pull ups (which he never was before) but hes learning nothing from it, just constantly wees through. I'm shattered as I have a 7 month old and get 2-3 hours sleep a night for the last 8 months which is not his fault but it doesn't help the situation. I have got very angry at him at points which is not acceptable but I just do not know what to do anymore. Our house is a very unhappy one as a result. There appears to be no information on this on the internet - only information for when toilet training has not been successful rather than when a child is completely toilet trained and then has total regression which has lasted for months. I am scared to put him back in nappies and knock his confidence more than I already have but Im worried pull ups are doing nothing for him. I have looked at the Eric website and this also has no information on this specific scenario. Has anyone else had the same problem or have any idea how I can move forward in the most appropriate way?

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CadyEastman · 30/03/2024 17:17

It sounds as if you are all exhausted.

Honestly? I'd just put him in nappies and explain, if he asks it's either nappies or he uses the potty.

PalmTreeOne · 30/03/2024 22:50

Thank you for the advice - I was hoping to get a few opinions, anyone else able to help?!

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Goinggreymammy · 30/03/2024 23:31

My daughter regressed like this after about 2 months. She also had had a tough time learning, but we thought she had got it. She had to go back in nappies in the end as it got silly, I was changing her clothes every 20 míns! You don't want to hear this but we were advised to totally go back to nappies for a few months, we tried again the following summer and it was more successful (but still a struggle ). I think its just hard for some kids. I had very poor bladder control all my childhood.

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PalmTreeOne · 31/03/2024 03:48

Thanks very much for sharing your experience - this is definitely helpful. How old was your daughter when you took her out of nappies the second time? Clearly all children are different but it does help sometimes to hear from people that have experienced a similar issue.

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anareen · 31/03/2024 04:02

With my youngest I remember potty training at around a year and a half. She was doing so well and then started regressing. The more I pushed the worse it got so I completely left it alone and at 2 years old she literally asked to use the potty one day and never wore a diaper again and never had an accident.

Goinggreymammy · 31/03/2024 09:37

PalmTreeOne · 31/03/2024 03:48

Thanks very much for sharing your experience - this is definitely helpful. How old was your daughter when you took her out of nappies the second time? Clearly all children are different but it does help sometimes to hear from people that have experienced a similar issue.

I think she was just turning 3 when the regression started around halloween. It got gradually worse until she was back in nappies by Jan/Feb.
Now I think of it we must have tried again that Easter because I remember a long car drive at the start of June and being amazed she was dry. But still lots of accidents all that summer, when she was over 3. I remember taking her for an untrasound that summer as welll to rule out issues with her bladder. Her second full year of preschool was much better, started in Sept.

PalmTreeOne · 31/03/2024 12:05

Great news that things improved for you :-)

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PalmTreeOne · 31/03/2024 12:09

Anareen thats great, I suppose that just seems much earlier than my DS so maybe a bit different as my DS fully understands what to do. He seems so old for his age in some ways (speaks like a 5 year old) but so young in others like he resists growing up at all, e.g. refuses to do things like use the toilet, wash hands, get dressed, put things away or do anything I ask basically ever and it just seems such hard work!

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NoliteTeBastardesCarborundorum · 31/03/2024 20:39

I was told regression is very common with a new baby- I know the dates don't fit with your youngest but I wonder if it coincides with the time they became less sleepy/out of cot more/ moving/ intruding on older child more? That would certainly tally with the not wanting to do grown up things because they are processing not being the baby any more.

Hollyvic4 · 02/03/2025 12:34

Just saw this and wondered how you got on @PalmTreeOne? We are in a similar situation with our 3 yr old and it is driving me mad!

Georgie198 · 18/04/2026 20:13

Hey could you tell me how this ended up I have exactly the same situation as you and wondered if there was light at the end of the tunnel xxx

CadyEastman · 19/04/2026 07:22

@Georgie198you might want to start your own thread. This one is over 2 years old and the OP hasn’t responded to other requests for an update Smile

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