Strong willed toddler? And attention span

[loukouK]

DS is 27mo, very strong willed and attention span has improved but I don’t know what’s normal for this age

family members have commented even joked that he’s stubborn and nursery say he tells them what he wants exactly and is very sure (I did ask if he tantrumed but of course he just reserves that for me and his dad haha!)

so I just ask basically as I don’t know is this just common

we tried bowling and he didn’t get he couldn’t run down the bowling alley. We tried to show him what to do and teach him but he wanted to run and throw the very heavy bowling. Balls (which he couldn’t actually hold haha) so then he instantly kicked off that we didn’t let him do what he wsnts

we go to gymnastics as of 2 Saturdays ago. He loved first session, didn’t follow instructions. 2nd session cut short as he twisted his ankle and was upset and today he wasn’t upset he had fun but half an hour in (class is an hour) he grabbed his shoes and asked to leave and seemed bored. It was a bit more relaxed today and he’s got a cold and is cutting back teeth. But he seemed bored too was very calm and didn’t whinge or anything.
Is an hour gymnastics too much to ask? I did see a few kids not doing it at this point and another girl sat next to him told her dad she wanted to leave around the same time so I’m thinking it’s because of toddler attention span

is this all normal toddler behaviour

He attends nursery 3 days and. They’ve said his attention span has improved with speech, he is very sure though and if he doesn’t want to do an activity just says no and walks away

27 months is far, far, far, far too young for bowling!! Revisit in about five years.

Baby gym class is fine, but far too young for an hour long class where he's expected to listen to and follow instructions.

I think you need to re-evaluate what you think are appropriate activities for a two year old.

Yeah I don’t mean it in a bad way it’s just because I see him so grown up, it’s times like I’ve mentioned I forget he’s still so young

i feel bad now for trying these things :(

You are expecting way way too much of him. That’s ok. But it’s just stressful for all involved. Mine would do Little Kickers football at that age but would do what he was supposed to for twenty minutes tops. I’d imagine the class was only twenty minutes long, mentally prepare myself for a good twenty minutes of engagement and anything else was a bonus. Start small.

@loukouK Don’t feel bad for trying things OP! It’s the only way to know what your child likes and what will hold their attention. We’ve been bowling with my now 3.5 year old since he was just over 2.5 and he loves it!

Our local sports centre offers a completely unstructured class for 10m-4yo kids. Equipment and toys are all out and they can play away to their hearts content. Could be worth seeing if anything like that is offered rather than a structured class where they’re expected to follow instructions?

Dd is 3 and bowling was a bit of a struggle a couple of months back when we went. She has older siblings otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered. At two she would have been like yours at any kind of class. She is strong willed as well though.

2 is far, far too young for bowling. I’d consider that a 4+ activity because they need to understand turn taking, winning and losing and most importantly not lobbing heavy balls, running down the lane etc.

It’s also very young for hour long structured classes. Some 2YOs are fine with them but neither of mine were until they were over 3. And even when they get older some activities are just hit and miss. Always make sure to get a trial class before signing up for a term would be my advice! And unless it’s a social thing for you because you’re meeting friends there then honestly I’d sack off gymnastics and go to the playground or soft play. He’ll likely be much happier getting active on his own terms. Revisit the structured stuff when he’s 3.

But yes he sounds very, very normal for his age! Just don’t expect too much of him.

2 1/2 for bowling?? He's about 5 years too young for that! An hour of gymnastics is too long. Swimming for 30 minutes would be better. It would also tire him out more.

He's 2. And only just 2.

Stop being unrealistic.

Ds is 2 and a bit and I reckon bowling would be a bit much!! I think an attention span of 15-20 mins is ok at this age. Unless it’s tractors in which case it’s weeks lol

I help out in reception.

An attention span of 15-20 mins is the limit I'd expect of the majority of 4-5 year olds. Nevermind 2 year olds.

You need to lower your expectations. My son is a similar age and I just don't do things with him that he can't cope with. It's too stressful for all involved and unfair on him to expect behaviour and attention beyond his years. Don't compare to some toddlers who do have the attention for such activities, it doesn't matter. Just focus on doing things with him that are as fun and stress free as possible.

Activities we do:

Balance bike at the park
Swimming for 40 minutes
Feeding the ducks
Go for walks in the woods/at the beach
Go to the library
Visit family
Go to the play café

Activities we do not do because he's not interested/not ready, but that some toddlers the same age can manage and enjoy:

Cinema
Gymnastics
Dance classes
Swimming lessons
Big meals out in restaurants

It doesn't matter to me that some children his age attend these sorts of activities. He doesn't enjoy them and isn't ready for that sort of thing. So we don't bother. It makes life simpler and happier for everyone.

Lower your expectations, you’ve got years before you have to do some of this stuff.

Attention span at 2 is about 4-6 mins typically, so when you have that in mind, it shifts your idea of activities significantly.

Lots of open-ended play (doesn’t matter if he isnt following the rules or doing something different), give him choices, pick your battles and work on transitions - that was the root cause of a lot of my strong-willed toddler’s issues.

Thanks I constantly feel like I should do new things with him or he’ll not like anything new (a silly worry)

we live close to an bus depot and about 10 mins walking he can see all the buses and loves it and we do that once or twice a week when we need to get out the house because he loves transport, so gets to see the buses there and the cars on the road going past etc

I guess it’s best to just stick to what he likes and not worry by doing this he won’t enjoy a variety of things!

I feel like I seen someone mention a play ground when I googled about this. I noticed he tends to just run round, slide for a few minutes then wants to walk around the park

he’s very good at walking :) and likes to see transport he walks to nursery the days he’s in
also loves a museum/gallery! Running around a big space looking at all the pieces :)

nothing wrong with trying things and not going back if it doesn't work out. I'd just do whatever is easiest for you (within behaviour boundaries) and tires him out e.g. park (fenced in is always a bonus haha!), soft play, national trust type places, watching the buses, etc. Lots of outdoor free play is fab for them - check out 1000 hours outdoors, and free range kids. our local gymnastics and trampoline club run toddler stay and play which are free play on the equipment and mine enjoy that so you could see if there's anywhere like that nearby.

It doesn’t need to be all new all the time @loukouK 😊 Make the most of free outdoor spaces and just left him explore 😊

We’re really lucky to live a 5 minute walk from the beach in one direction and a fab big glen with a burn 2 minutes from our house in the other direction. Since DS was walking we’ve just headed out on “toddler led” as an activity at least 3/4 times a week. He picks where we head and, provided he’s safe, I just let him explore and take the lead. Sometimes he wants to throw stones in the water, draw with sticks in the mud, race from one tree to the next, jump off tree stumps, dig in the sand, gather stones to take home and paint etc. It’s lovely just being outside and being silly together. At this age they learn so much just from their surroundings 😊