My son is 6, nearly 7 and he has always been very clingy with me and about a year or so ago, he started saying ‘I’m the worst’ if he did something.
So for example, I would tell him how great he was at football and he would say ‘no I wasn’t I’m the worst’.
If I have had to tell him off for something (usually not listening) he will say ‘I’m the worst’ I will say you’re not, but I still need you to listen/put pants on/ stop jumping about.
This has progressed to ‘you don’t love me’ when I tell him on a daily basis how loved he is.
I’m always the one to say what he’s done very well but I will also be the one to say ‘stop messing about and put your pants on’ and I do end up getting cross when I’ve said 5 or 6 times for him to do something (like put shoes on) and he’s not even acknowledging that I’m talking to him.
Like I said, he is very clingy with me. He won’t even go to the toilet without me being with him, won’t sleep on his own and sometimes it is claustrophobic and overwhelming for me and I just need a few minutes without being sat on, elbowed, bo-ob squashed, jumped on etc.
Yesterday I had organised the school Easter fair and he came with me. He was bored but there wasn’t much I could do.
Afterwards we got home and I said I’m not cooking I’m going out to get pizza and a bottle of wine. He cried because I was going out. This is where he became very clingy and wanted me to himself which I totally understood as he hadn’t had my full attention all day. But he hadn’t seen his dad all day either. He said ‘you don’t love me, you just want a time out from me’
I felt awful because I don’t want a time out from him, I need a time out from everything!
I took him with me and I explained that I don’t want a time out from him, but today has been noisy, busy and overwhelming and I sometimes just need a few minutes to be a better mummy. I said it’s not because of him but because we’ve had a busy day.
i think what doesn’t help is that my husband parents in a totally different way. He will say ‘you’re being annoying’, ‘shut up’, but he will also tell him how loved he is. My husband could have got dinner ready, could have gone to get the pizza but he won’t, it’s all on me. But that’s a separate issue, but I can’t help but wonder if my husbands behaviours are linked to my sons.
sorry it’s long any advice?
(Btw both me and my son are waiting for adhd assessments)