No playdates yet

[Honeybeesinthetrees]

DS is in reception, he enjoys school has a nice group of kids he's friendly with and attends an after school's club with. I work full time so dont do the collection and drop off is chaotic so rarely get speaking to any of the parents. Id be friendly when i see them at birthday parties etc DS also attends football and gymnastics with some kids from school, all very friendly and no issues im aware of. Today my sister was talking about trying to fit in playdates for her son with kids from school (same age as DS but at a different school) and I realised we haven't been invited or invited anyone on a playdate/meet up outside of school. My sister thinks this is very strange and hinted that maybe my DS doesn't have many friends. I feel terrible, should I be reaching out to more parents to meet up? Between work and looking after his baby sister I really dont have a lot of time but im feeling like im failing as a parent by not putting more effort in with other parents. Should I get more involved or let playdates etc happen more naturally?

Don't stress.

When my DC were in primary, I worked part-time so was home lots for pick ups and drop offs and we still didn't have many play dates. Mostly, they all saw each other in school every day and that was enough. Many play dates were about mummies helping each other so they could go to personal appointments.
If he's going to after school activities and being invited to birthday parties, everything is ok. If you're really worried you could ask your DC about friends to invite over May half-term.

Tbh if you have contact details from when you’ve accepted invites to the birthday parties etc maybe just drop a text to see if their child wants to come over for tea after school or a play at the weekend? Just make it light and breezy and see what comes of it. Or invite one of the parents round for coffee with their kids if you feel like you want to get to know them more? That’s usual how things can start....

Ds is in Reception too. We've had playdates with two friends - both times their mums contacted me as their sons were struggling socially. They just found my number on the class WhatsApp and reached out. None of the playdates have gone fantastically well although not disasters.

I work long hours, DS is in afterschool a lot we are all tired and have other activities at the weekend, it's hard to fit it all in.

I'm stressing a bit about this too but mainly telling myself we will do some playdates in the long holidays when they aren't all tired from school and arent seeing each other every day.

So would recommend you don't stress either it will come.

I don't think they are such a thing any more. The only people I know who have regular play dates it's because the parents are friends socially, usually not related to school in any way. Otherwise it's maybe a meet in the park if the weather if it's nice, or friends they know from extra curricular activities. People don't really seem to go to each others houses much since covid. I think the shift in less mums staying at home has had an impact as well. One of my DC has a good group of friends because they all go to wrap around care together! Otherwise really it's the occasional class party (less than there used to be think that's cost of living as we live in a poor area).

I wouldn’t worry, it’s a combination of possibly your child’s friends parents working or their parents wanting to give their child downtime after school. School 5 days a week is a lot at that age and play dates aren’t necessary. He’s being invited to parties and that definitely enough, you’re all doing fine x

Thank you, my sister has a way of being quite critical of me so im probably taking it personally. Prior to starting reception we had regular playdates with my close friend's children who are similar ages but dont attend his school, we still meet up just not as often as everyone has other things happening! Thanks just feeling paranoid that perhaps other parents are meeting up regularly and my DS is missing out because of me

I don't think playdates were much of a thing when my son was in reception, although TBF COVID struck after Christmas so maybe that delayed it all until Y1. The ones that were happening then were driven by friendships between non-working parents. The kids whose parents worked hung out together at teatime club anyway.

From Y1 they are driven mostly by the children, but ask your son if he would like someone over on a weekend afternoon, just so he knows it's an option.

Play dates are awful and usually only arranged at this age by parents who have older children so are being fair in allowing them for all, whose child is struggling with friendships and is trying to push their child closer to another child, or by parents who need childcare and work out a (often reciprocal) arrangement with other parents.

Play dates aren't that common where we are. My DD is in Year 1 and most dcs have after school activities or wraparound care during the week. Weekends are for family time as the parents don't have much time with their dcs after work. Most dcs would rather have an exciting trip out with their family than playing in someone's house who they see every day at school anyway.