Please tell me there are other out there with 3yrs plus children who ARENT trained?

[HarrogateMum]

My DTs are 3.4. DT2 was potty trained at 2.11 but DT1 resolutely refuses. I have tried about 5 times now but he just gets upset, cries and I am getting to the end of my tether with it. It just feel so OLD to still be in nappies and I am sure the ladies at the nursery where they go think this as well (he is well known for his rather toxic nappies......)

The other day I sat him on the toilet and he told me he was scared of it (the loo), he never volunteers to wear pants, but if you ask him if he wants to wear them, says yes and then promptly wees or poos in them.

He doesnt tell me if he has done a poo in his nappy so its as though he still isnt aware of it. He has never done anything in the potty, ever.

Should I just leave it, or should I really take the bull by the horns and give him no choice......so confused!

Oh, thank god. Was just about to start a thread on this subject. My second daughter is 3 next month and is just not really getting it at all. Have gone, sort of, cold turkey about knickers on during teh day but she seems to be regressing. Keeps weeing everywhere and just doesn't seem to care.

I never had any trouble at all with her elder sister. Just took her nappies off at 2.4 and that was it.

I think she's getting mixed messages form us adn her childminder - she's been keen to train her for ages, I've not been bothered - let her dictate etc. God, it's exasperating though, am starting to feel a bit embarrassed that she's still in nappies.

have been trying to toilet train my 3.9 year old girl for about 10 months with no success. She just doesn't care about being wet and will wee about 15 times a day, getting it right a majority of time in the toilet or potty but still being wet about 5 times a day.have been vey relaxed about whole thing, have tried sticker charts to no avail. now leaving where ever we are on wetting to show there is a consequence to behaviour. have had urine sample checked- all fine, what can you do?

I tried to train ds1 at 2. It took a year and a half!!!!!!
I left ds2 till he was over 3 and it took less than a month { one of my favourite memories is of ds2 dolefully saying "My pantses is wet!"
I haven't really started with ds3 who is 3.2. Tbh, I think the nursery would prefer a child in nappies to a child who pees and poos at random all over the place!

DS didn't give up nappies until he was 3.5. He was absolutely fine with wee, but hated the idea of poo--he still does, really! He would hold on for up to a week and then find he had a bit of a leak (sorry if TMI, but it's quite common, apparently).

DD has just more or less trained herself at about 3.2/3.3
before that, any attempts ended in tears (mostly mine) as she is (ahem) rather determined and stubborn

however, when she decided to do it (aided by going to nursery etc.) it was immediate really, hardly any accidents, and she learnt to wee less often/hold it in a bit within a couple of weeks. We have just done a trip which involved 2 x 6 hour car trips within 5 days (mostly through the arse end of nowhere too, with not many possible loo stops) without a single accident . She's also gone straight to being dry nearly every night (although am going to keep her in pull ups a while yet until I'm sure that's not just beginner's luck)

she never would go anywhere near a potty, straight to the loo. People kept telling me she would suddenly do it and I couldn't imagine it, then all of a sudden one evening she sat on the loo of her own accord and did a poo.

As you will see from the post I have just started I have also experience of 3 yr olds in nappies. My son was never interested in being toilet trained at all and after several failed attempts at home..he eventually learned at nursery at about 3.4. The teacher kindly suggested he came in pants with lots of changes of pants/trousers..for the first week or two he wet himself 2 or 3 times a morning..but then the accidents stopped entirely ..he was more co-operative in the nursery environment whereas has always played up a bit at home!...the poos took longer as he used to get v. constipated and waited for his night time nappy to poo..after a few dietary changes the poos were eventually sorted too.

Now I have a just 3 yr old daughter and thought it would be so much easier as she communicates well and is eager to please and be independent..but the toilet training has not been going too well so far..see my post.

Good luck with your son..I would suggest asking his nursery if they could try and help him learn to use the loo for standing up wees..if not maybe do as others have suggested and leave the issue for another month and see if he suddenly changes..

dear harrogate mum, i have twins nearly 3 now one is toilet trained completely for 2 months now but the other will not even go out of nappies she says she is scared too! She won't tell me she needs changing too sounds so similar Wow! I have never pressured them into toilet training or been anything but positive she did try before but when she was very young around two, but had a few accidents which i just said thats ok etc.. but no she doesn't want to even take them off now (nappies) so we just don't even talk about it anymore and i have just said to her if and when you want to sit on the potty it is their in the room and thats where i have left it..and i have told other people just to keep quiet as yes people say 'not toilet trained yet!!!' so what i truly beleive when the time is right for her she will just do it the other twin did but thank goodness their are others out there in this situation..

Ds was well over 3 when he trained. If DT1 isn't physiologically ready, he isn't ready - you can't force it.

Me, me! Well not me but dd2, she was 3 in feb and will go on the potty if I catch her at the right time but doesn't ask to go, ifyswim - so I don't think she's close yet!

Was just about to post on the same subject .. DD1 is 3y 4m and was potty 'trained' (after having taken a very relaxed approach) just before she was 3. The first week she got the hang of both poos and wees and just as I was starting to feel a bit smug... we went backwards and have never returned. She will wee on toilet (refuses potty) but poos in her pants, nighttime nappy every. Took HV advice about not making an issue but we are not showing any signs of moving forward. She's totally not bothered by poos in her pants and would just ignore them if she could.

It's not a constipation/holding thing as she's v regular (if you know what I mean), in fact she has a bowel movement every morning around 5.30am and a few more in the day.

Am starting to feel slightly panicked (but feel better reading this post) partly because of the justification to other people but also because if she goes to pre-school in sept she has to be 'clean'. I'm also starting to worry that soon her peers might start rejecting her because of this...

Has anyone been given any other professional advice about it?

DD2 was nearly 3 and half when we trained her and contrary to my views on using pull ups to potty training (i.e. they just delay things), on advice on the nursery, we used them. It was relatively stress free (compared to DD1 who we trained at 2 & 3/4) and success in 3 weeks. Still in nappies at night though (just over 3 1/2 now)

She was no way ready before then - couldn't recognise the impulse

DS is 3 and just isnt ready, have given it 2 proper tries and he'll use a potty if hes not wearing trousers. He started to then not even use the potty so I'm gonna leave it at least a month. Summer should be easier although this scottish weather is abysmal. Failing that theres my thinking about strating nursery, I think he'd be interested in doing the same as the other kids. Part of me feels tho this is just me slacking, will see how it pans out as dont want him getting stressed over it, not worth it at all is it

i know loads of 3.5 year olds who aren't trained. most of the kids i know seem to get it somewhere between 3.5 and 4.