So I know having an only child is not the end of the world - I can see the benefits for my family - WHY do I have this niggly feling telling me it's not OK?

[DrNortherner]

AAAARGH. I could scream.

I was an only child. I have an only child. Ds is nearly 6, and the light of our lives. Funny, adorable, good company, kind and loving.

I am 32 this year, I can not afford to give up work, and tbh, we could not afford childcare costs so another child is financially not an option. Also. dh is hapy with ds and does not feel the need for another.

So taht's it. No more kids, probably. I can se why, I can even understand why. I know ds will not suffer, he is sociable and popular with loads of mates.

But I keep getting this niggling feeling, I ocassionally say to dh 'if we have another baby' to which he says NO.

It's not a pining/broody feeling, just a what if feeling, and I catch myself gazing at women with babies/toddlers. Then I shake myself and return to normality.

I have a full life, I am happy, if I don't ahve another I can live with that (I think)

But what's with the niggles?!!!!

Plaees tell me I am not alone?

I think I know how you feel. We have one ds who is 3. I am 31 this year and have been thinking more about what if..It never entered my mind to have a number 2, I gave all my baby stuff away and live in a tiny 2 bedroom terrace house, so told myself 'no room!' I am putting it down to my age. Also this year my job looked like it may be on the line and it made me think that there are more important things in life than my job (which I love).

Have now started trying for number 2, dh said 'we should have more you know'one day and then we got chatting about life!

Lazycow, I do see your point, my two do have each other, but I still have the need for a full sibling for dd who will be closer in age, the need for another pg and birth, and a terrible regret that I didn't have more sooner so that there could have been as many as I wanted. I always said I'd have 3, but now I'd love to have had the option of more than that.

But, if 2 is all I'm to have then yes, I am very grateful that I have them, as I appreciate many can't have children and I can understand just a tiny little amount of what they must feel.

lazycow

You are so much like me.
I have turned into a bitter bad tempered so and so feeling like this.
I have been ttc my 2nd dc for 8 months with no luck.
I am dreading finally coming to the realisation that my ds will be an only.
I cannot sleep properly for thinking about it.
I cannot go anywhere without looking at children and there siblings and feeling gutted.
As I said I have been ttc for 8 months and I am 37 years of age and at threat of an early menopause.
My mom and sister went through it between the ages of 38 and 40.
And I beat myself up day after day for waiting this long mainly due to the fact that my dh has been dead set against having another.
So now I feel bitter towards him.

Lazycow
He may be standing at your graveside in years to come with his wife and children happily married so not on his own.

Sorry I am trying to be positive but I know exactly how you feel.