Help toddler adjusting to having new baby sibling

[MayMi]

I have a 2.5 year old DD and 6 week old DS.

Since baby has been home, DD has been refusing to eat properly or nap, and had generally been grumpy and sensitive.

I know it's hard for toddlers to adjust to having new siblings so I've been as patient and compassionate as I can, and have been making time for her one-on-one. I also accept she's in the terrible twos age range so I try to be supportive.

She's also had multiple illnesses that have lasted weeks during this time and it's been raining loads so we haven't been able to get outside much.

I've been trying my best but this is starting to grate on me. I understand the weather can improve and she won't be ill all the time but these things have just been adding on.

The baby is fairly 'easy' so I'm not projecting stress from him onto her.

Any advice on how to get through this stage would be appreciated.
Also if you have any ideas on how to entertain a toddler at home without buying lots of stuff that would be great too.
We tried baking but she kept eating the flour 🤷🏼‍♀️

Water play?
Finger painting?

Sensory play is good at that age, gather a big basket of lots of random objects and let her investigate.

Do baking that doesn't involve flour - flapjack is good - so it doesn't matter if she eats the raw mixture.

A treasure hunt where you sit on the sofa with the list, and say 'one red thing, go!' and then when she gets back 'two blue things, go!'

Build a campsite for all the teddies with a den big enough for her to be in too.

Junk modeling is good, keep all cardboard boxes.

A huge piece of paper rolled out on the floor, just for drawing from her or you and her can design a map of a town or an island together and she can push cars round it.

Decorate the room with big paper leaves & flowers cut from cheap/recycled paper and make it a jungle, let her blutack them all over.

Baths with lots of bubbles (while you sit in the bathroom too of course)

Sit and read books together, this is perfect for the baby too.

Make sure the toddler can cuddle you a lot too. With all these activities, talk as much as possible to the toddler, so she feels she still has your attention.

It is very hard!!!!

Is she at nursery?

Presumably this is about when the toddler is at home, otherwise the OP wouldn't be asking.

Dd1 was slightly younger but I made sure we stayed on our same schedule of toddler groups etc, (now ex) h took her to swimming lessons, etc. at home she liked to cuddle up when I was feeding dd2 often sticking her doll up under her top! I had a baby carrier that I used a lot so I could be pretty active with dd1, I took them both to the zoo (dd1's favourite place, we had an annual pass) when dd2 was 6 days old, was just fine. I found getting out the house was key

I used to make special time when I was feeding the baby I'd read to the toddler.

How secure is your garden? My toddler was safe outside and enjoyed getting out for a few minutes alone.

Try not to use baby as a reason for anything bad, eg we can't go out cus baby needs a nap.

Solidarity, I remember those times. It does get better and now mine are the best of friends.

Depends on what your little one is like. Mine likes “jobs” so he would help me by grabbing nappies and wipes and then getting tonnes of praise. Anything positive around the baby would get positive reactions. it just helped him adjust and learn to love the baby.

They’re 2&4 now and best mates

Does it matter if she eats flour? It won't kill her. Put a spoonful in a small bowl for her.

Unfortunately flour is more likely to cause food poisoning than raw egg, I didn't know this until recently, but it is flour that is why the advice is not to eat uncooked mixture.

Has she got a doll? That way she can copy you.

Apparently my brother, two years older than me used to help my mum bath me, and always accidentally poured water onto my face with a smile .

😂 I always eat uncooked mixture, best part of baking!

I have 2.5yr old and a 5 week old so in the same boat with you. I am absolutely struggling but will share things that help us - just don’t want you to think I’m doing all this perfectly because I really not!

• We’ve tried to keep things the same with regard to activities (swimming is the only one we do every week).

• We’ve tried to give DS1 lots of 1 on 1 time, so when it’s just me I make an effort to play with him as much as possible when baby is sleeping so not too much distraction from baby.

• We take turns doing bath/bed so I will do bath and DH do bed then switch the next night and the other one is in another room with baby. So DS1 knows he gets a bit of time with each of us every night.

• I get out the house every day, parks/walks. Have managed a toddler group with DS2 in sling and we’ve found a free play gymnastics group where I can leave DS2 sleeping in buggy at side of room or have him in sling. We also go to rhyme time at the library at least once a week but usually twice.

• For home activities we have regular afternoon baths as DS1 will play by himself and I just need to be in the bathroom having a cup of tea and folding laundry usually! I chuck in loads of animal figurines and a plastic bowl and he will play with them for 30+ mins. We also do play-dough together or colouring as I can do these while holding/feeding baby. Lots of books/playing with toys. I have been buying those box mix cupcakes with characters on as he can do those with minimal input at the kitchen table if I give him everything he needs laid out and it doesn’t matter to me if they turn out rubbish and he’ll eat them for snacks over next few days - I only pay a couple of pounds for one. While feeding I often ask him to find me things like a treasure hunt (an elephant teddy, a red duplo block, a blue car etc) I just make it up on the spot so requires no prep.

We also watch much too much tv for my liking at the moment but sometimes it is about survival mode. DS1 doesn’t go to nursery so it’s just me and the children all day every day and DS1 doesn’t nap anymore so we have lots of time to fill - weekends are significantly easier 😅

I could have written this about the illnesses. DD1 is 4 next month, DD2 is 4 months.

Since DD2 was born DD1 has been ill 6 times. She currently has another awful cough and today's plans have been cancelled. It's also rained non stop here so even when she hasn't been ill it's been hard to get out.

It could well be the illnesses affecting her eating rather than the baby and my DD1 gave up her nap at 2.5 so perhaps she's just naturally doing that rather than it being linked to the new baby xx

Thank you everyone so much for your suggestions, I really appreciate the solidarity too ❤️ sorry I meant to reply a lot sooner than this.