Want a 3rd baby but...

[boonr]

I had 2 children (aged 6 & 4).

I developed epilepsy after having them, however it is now under control (with medication). I only had 1 Grand Mal seizure, and the rest were awareness seizures. Stress and tiredness bring these on.

A part of me really wants a 3rd baby, but I know deep down this is probably a bad idea with the epilepsy. Obviously I'd be exhausted again and life has just gotten to a stage where I'm not constantly pulling my hair out. I'm worried it's selfish on my current children if I'm potentially putting myself at risk of having more seizures. I should perhaps just be happy with my 2 healthy kids.

Anyone else been in this situation?

I have bipolar and got acutely unwell after having my daughter and had a 10 weeks stay in a mother and baby unit. I had a 50% chance of what happening happening. If I was to have another child the risk would be 50+% chance of it happening again although they can't give exact numbers. The medication I was put on to manage the episode causes birth defects so for a while it was just not an option. My daughter is now 3.5 and I'm now stable. A year ago I went from 4 to 3 medications and at the end of last year I approached my consultant about pregnancy and I have since come off another medication and a few weeks away from being off the problematic medication. I think I have made up my mind and have definitely found exploring what pregnancy and afterwards might look like help to focus my mind about whether the reality is something I want to go for. It's a big risk and it took me over 2 years to get back to normal.

I would try having some conversations with your medical team and your OH to see what the reality might look like in a good and bad scenario planning way. What support would you get? What would the impact be for you and your current children etc.