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I thought I was ok with one…

1 reply

Shimmeringstar · 27/03/2024 10:46

My DS is 4, I had a terrible pregnancy (HG and in and out of hospital the whole way through) and suffered quite badly mentally in the months after so my DH and I had decided we would stop at one - for other reasons too (finances, lack of childcare, lack of space)

I thought I had made my peace with only having one… 2 of my friends recently had their first DC and I was genuinely thrilled for them and adore their babies.

However, another friend has just announced her second pregnancy (her DD is only weeks younger than my DS so we did lockdown pregnancy/babies together) and as much as I am happy for her, I feel a pang of sadness that I didn’t with my other friends - I’m assuming because this is her second and it’s something I won’t be doing.

Does anyone have experience with this? Will it go away in time and just hurts now because it’s raw? DH will categorically never agree to a second so it’s absolutely not on the cards. I just don’t want my sadness to be obvious to my friend who is quite rightly overjoyed right now.

OP posts:
whyyy321 · 27/03/2024 10:48

I can't advise op, but I can empathise. I struggled pp with my mental health, as did my husband. We arent sure whether a second would be a good idea and I've started to get anxious about other people telling me they are due a second, especially from my NCT group. It makes me feel like a failure for not being confident or strong enough to face another newborn/baby year.

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