Would you return back to work?

[Boo1998]

Hi,

my partner has recently been offered a pay Rise paying £90k+ 20% bonus. This job would require a level of availability around the clock.

all our bills including holidays and going out/lifestyle funds are covered plus a small salary for me and my bills can all be covered with around 1k savings to be made a month.

would you return back to work? We have a young daughter aged 11 months. I would have a part time job to back to if I did go back which is relatively stressful to return, the extra stress and leaving my daughter makes me think about not going back as we would be comfortable as we have zero debt and significant savings in the region of 100k.

We have a mortgage etc too, not renting

You’ve missed the most important info, are you married?

If the answer is no, then I absolutely would not under any circumstances think it’s a good idea not to work.

Do you WANT to work? Would you like the SAHM life?

I was in a similar position to you a few years ago after my fourth DC was born. My DH is a high earner, 150K plus large bonus, with a very full on job that includes travel so I could have easily stopped working especially with four young children.

I seriously thought about being a SAHP but I went back to my part time job and I'm so happy I stuck it out. I love not being dependant on him and the security it brings me. Plus life is a lot easier now my youngest is five, the baby/toddler years go by so quickly.

I would say do what you feel is right for you and your family but for me the independence is worth it in the long term.

Same here. DH is a very high earner but I don't want to be dependent on him. Its not good for my self- esteem. Also I love my job. Dh thinks (and says) he would like me not to work- but I think deep down he respects me more for working and it relieves a little of the pressure on him knowing he's not the only one bringing in money. I also don't want to model a very traditional gender role setup to our kids

I would go back to work, especially as you can do part time. Returning to work and having someone else look after baby is always daunting to begin with and the first few months can be hard, but you get used to the new routine and it can be nice to do something other than childcare for a bit during the week. I totally agree with PP who said the independence is worth it in the long term.

If you’re married and your DH will top your pension up and also give you equal access to the family money then IF you’d like to be a SAHM then consider if
Otherwise, I would suggest keeping a part time role is good for lots of reasons - independence, skills, pension, money and future options
I’ve always worked FT - my kids are older now and have been able to maintain a relatively senior career - when my DH travelled a lot for work I makes sure I had good, rock solid, paid for childcare

If you are married, I would stay at home for a few years. Is your job a career you can return to fairly easily after a few years? I loved my years at home with my children

My best years have been at home with the children whilst they are so little.

I think the question should be do you want to go back to work? But also look into your works mat leave policy. With mine if I didnt return to work for 3 months post mat leave I would have to repay my enhanced mat leave pay. So I returned for 3 months but had sufficent annual leave to not actually need to go into work. The reasons I choose not to return to work were for my mental health as following a traumatic birth and my twins spending time in special care I had extreme separation anxiety. Secondly the cost of putting both (twins) in nursery and my older daughters school wrap around care meant financially it wouldn't really be worth it. And thirdly I felt the need to spend longer with my children. I will never get these precious years back and means we were in a fortunate position for me not to work I have taken advantage.

My twins will be 2 soon and I will return to work in a different less stressful role very part time with flexible hours so the twins will go to nursery a couple of days a week. As I now have reached a point where I need something for me and the twins need separation from me too (I've had 12 months of therapy too for my mental health). But I know the extra 12 months and returning to a different role was and is the right decision for me.

But I would say it really depends on what YOU want. I really struggled initially with the 'stigma' of a sahm. I have worked all my life and developed a successful career. I returned to work part time after my first child. But the traumatic birth of my twins made me repriotitise what's important to me.