How to ditch the dummy 4yo

[SurreyisSunny]

My DS is 4 (5 in October) and he’s still addicted to his dummy. I said I’d get rid of it by 3 and then by 4 but have failed. It’s like a drug to him, sometimes he picks it up, has a drag I.e 2/3 sucks and puts it back! I’m very strict about him only having it at night in his bedroom.

I suggested the dummy fairy or Santa giving to other babies but he was having none of this. I’ve now gone for bribery, I took him to the toy shop and said he could pick anything he wanted. He would still rather keep the dummy!

The dentist has said he really does need to give them up. It still gives him a lot of comfort and he sleeps well.

Do I

1. chop them up and get ready for no sleep and tantrums (I’d rather not take his approach as he has some behavioural issues)
2. wait until he’s ready and volunteers to get rid of them
3. keep with the bribery until some toy does the trick
4. wait until the final 2 get lost or destroyed by the dog which will force the situation
5. something else

Thankyou

@SurreyisSunny What kind of behavioural issues? Personally, I think if you wait for him to volunteer then you’ll be waiting forever. If the dentist is making a point of commenting on it then I’d imagine it really is affecting his teeth now which makes it a health issue. Of get rid of them all and just deal with the sleepless nights until he gets over it. Or replace with some other form of comforter. Ours had a nighttime dummy far longer than I intended and we had 2 nights of frequent wakings when I took them away (we gave them to new tiny babies when he turned 2) then he forgot all about it. I appreciate yours might take a bit longer since he has more understanding at this age!

We used the "Santa takes the dummies for the babies and leaves you some toys" option. I suppose you can do similar with the Easter bunny. Just make sure that you get ALL of them and you hide them well.

Just take it away. The "dummy fairy"'took my daughters when she was 1. Yes it was hard or for a few days but no excuse not to! At almost 5 he's far too old to need a dummy!if the dentist is saying the same why on earth didn't you immediately listen and action it? It baffles me why you've not done something before. Your the parent. Take it away; throw them all away so you can't relent. He's old enough to understand (my daughter did at 1) and the drama won't last long

Hmm.

Go cold turkey. Only way. Mix it up with dummy fairy, don't ask him, tell him what's happening. Replace dummies with a toy of some sort. And just do it on a Friday night/over Easter holidays.
Sow seeds of how he's a grown up boy, and how his teeth need looking after, and how the dummy fairy needs dummies for babies etc.

It will be painful for a few days, but, keep firm.

I read something about cutting a small hole at the end of it/sticking a pin in it to make a small hole and gradually making it bigger and it makes it less satisfying to suck! X

Could you do the progressive thing - no dummy outside the house, then no dummy out of the bedroom etc.

He only has it at bedtime

@NewYorkDilemma yes he doesn’t like it when they have holes!

@MrsMoastyToasty unfortunately he doesn’t like chocolate so the Easter Bunny won’t cut it!!

@SurreyisSunny maybe that could be a happy middle ground then to help wean him off them, and he might wean off them himself as he finds them less satisfying? X

My DD had a big struggle giving them up like yours. She liked to have a few in a pot next to her in bed as backup and seemed to draw comfort from that, clanking them as she went to sleep. She'd been going without during the day for a while. Younger DD had already given them up, we stressed the big girls don't need dummies stuff holding her sister up as a shining example and as they gradually broke/got lost they weren't replaced until there was only 1 left. Then finally one night she agreed to try without, it was a bit ropey but we all got through it. Don't worry it will happen, some find it easier than others, we had done the big giving them up buildup at 3 but that didn't work, but they had gone by 5, I think we had said at 5 we wouldn't allow dummies any more so she wouldn't have any choice if she hadn't given them up by then herself. She had, so all good.

We went cold turkey at 3 and once we started I was resolved that we couldn't give in and give it back so got rid of them. I was expecting it to be awful but it actually wasn't so bad. We said the babies needed the dummies (and he's always saying he's 'big' and not a baby anymore) so we were going to give them away to them. The first night he woke up a few times upset and it was difficult. Second night slept through without a peep. He did randomly halfhearted ask for it throughout that week, during the day, but I think he knew it was gone. By the second week it was all forgotten about and he's never mentioned it since. So glad we got rid as it really was affecting his teeth.

Probably not helpful but my granddaughter gave her dummies to the flight attendant on our flight home from holiday. Flight attendant was going to give them to the fruit man on the beach to give out to babies 😂It was actually so much easier than we imagined catastrophised In our scenarios!

I showed him videos on my phone of someone making a build a bear and putting a dummy in it and said he could do that to when he was ready. The next day he decided he was so we got a special build a bear and he got to choose everything for it and they made him a special sticker that said he had given up his dummy. He is a shy second born who doesn't get to be the centre of attention much so loved something special for him.

First night was obviously a bit of a pain and when he woke I just gave him his teddy and said that he had his dummy in there and the Teddy would stay with him. Its honestly much easier than you think its going to be, one night of crying and you are done.

I ‘lost’ them with both my kids at 2. A few nights of grumbles, but you’ll be amazed how quickly they move on.

My DD start sucking her thumb instead 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ so she keep the dummies under her pillow until she was 6ish and then she physically couldn't suck them anymore.