Just feeling so tired recently and thinking back to when me and my other half lived on our own and things were just so... easy.
My DD is almost one and I love her so much and I do enjoy being her mum but it's been so tiring recently. She sleeps well at night, so I can't complain at that, but she's been poorly for almost two weeks now (two colds back to back) so she's been quite fed up and teary the last two days. She has started to get really irritable from about 5pm onwards and she's been like this for a couple of months now. My other half has just recently got a new job that requires him to be in London two days a week so he stays overnight as we live a fair distance from there and I have our daughter for two days and one night on my own. I know a lot of people have it way worse than me but I'm not used to it and I feel quite drained. I've also been unwell myself the last week and I don't think that has helped, my body just feels really exhausted all the time. Sometimes it's a battle to get her to go to sleep too, she can't be put down to self settle as she just cries and cries until we hold her again and it can take ages for her to go off to sleep, all while I'm stuck in a rocking chair in the dark waiting for her to go off when all I want to do is go downstairs and watch some shit telly in peace for a couple of hours.
I can't help but reminisce on easier times when I feel like this, when I'd fall asleep really well at night, I'd wake up feeling refreshed, we'd go out and do what we wanted when we wanted and be spontaneous. Now it's a whole thing that we have to arrange for weeks in advance.
I dunno, I'm just feeling a bit sad I think and needed somewhere to vent. I'm hoping this feeling passes soon, being a parent is hard.