Failing at being a mum

[newandconfused5]

Feeling like a rubbish mum.

Just a vent really. I am mum to three children.. 9,4&18 months. Finding this stage at the moment very hard!

Lots of shouting in my house from both the children and me. I hate that I can be a shouty mum.

Morning before school stress, after school stress, bedtime stress. I feel like everything is stressful, when it is just normal life!

I only work two days a week.. however I am a teacher so I usually do a bit of work every nap time through the week to keep on top of things.

I just feel like I'm failing!
Everything gets done, housework, homework, after school clubs BUT I just don't seem to enjoy a single second of it. I see it as just one long list of never ending tasks.

My children deserve better. Please tell me it gets better!!!

It does get better. And your kids have a great mum!

Make a cup of tea and take a break.

Thank you for your reply. It made me smile ❤️

When things used to be really tough, and seemed to be daily, I’d wait for hubby to come home, I’d run a bath and stay there and let hubby deal with the kids. I have an awful relationship with my eldest, and even today it’s not great. He’s ungrateful, entitled, lazy, aggressive, argumentative, doesn’t think before he speaks so can be extremely hurtful. The more I’m supportive of him, the more horrid he seems to be, which is when I usually distance myself to stop getting hurt. Thankfully my daughter is mostly the opposite. Good luck, they are very testing. You are not alone. Make sure you find a moment for yourself to reset. I meditate too (Headspace app) when I’m suffering from anxiety on top of all the usual. 💌

I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. it will get easier. However, when I went part-time, my HT told me I wasn’t to spend my days off doing school work and neither should you. When things got on top of me I would sing ‘the hills are alive with the sound of music’. I don’t know why, but it helped especially at bath time. Maybe you are trying to do too much? Can you simplify meals for example or give up ironing?

Thank you for your kind words and replies. I think I am doing too much but then I feel like.. I have three kids I have to get over it!

I feel close to burnout at the moment I guess! Hopefully a bit of a break with less demands over the Easter holidays will help xx

@newandconfused5 sounds like you’re doing great. Is it possible to not shout? No, I don’t think so. I shout, it’s life, I apologise and move on. It’s bloody tough on mums now and I don’t care what anyone says, it is.

honestly with 3 kids, one just at crawling age and a job that you have to keep on top of, not to mention cooking/house I’m genuinely marvelling in awe. Be kind to yourself.

You have an 18 month old - I think it’s easy to forget how hard that is when they get older! Hang on in there; there’ll be good days and bed!

I think most people shout at their kids sometimes.

I understand why you’re overwhelmed - three kids is a lot and toddlers are infuriating but so are 9 year olds.

The only thing I’d say is if you are always a moaning mum, and there are a lot of raised voices at home, your kids really will start to tune you out “oh there goes mum again, off on some rant about nothing, we can ignore her”.

Do you get shouty in the classroom out of frustration? I bet (hope) you don’t. So if you can put your “work face” on, and keep a lid on the aggravation, why can’t you do that at home? That’s what I’d be thinking about if I were you.

You are at the toughest stage, work and a toddler. I have two 8 and 3 and I remember this stage being the toughest, working from home and having a 1.5 year old. I also regret the shouting, feeling flustered and absolutely exhausted and it lasted for months, plus you have 3 so you're super woman!

You'll see the light at the end of the tunnel soon, don't worry, take it a day at a time. Sounds like everyone needs a break outdoors, hopefully spring is round the corner where you are, a little picnic with the kids while they run around will do wonders.