Newly single mum to twins

[JofoXX]

Hi everyone,

Having recently separated from my husband I am now a single mum to b/b twins. They are absolutely amazing but absolutely hard work!

Any tips from single multiple mums?

Routine? Feeding both? Getting out and about? Bathing 2 alone? Having a bath😅

4 months old 💙💙

Congratulations on having wonderful BB twins, @JofoXX - but sorry if life has just become more complicated through separation. I'm a twin mum, and although not single, with DH in the army I spent several blocks of time at home while he was deployed overseas, so have some idea...
I would prioritise getting the DBs to sleep through the night so at least you can get proper rest too, because everything else hangs on your ability to function and stay well. All babies follow their own script, but what worked for me was to have them both in one cot for company, then side by side so they comfort and communicate together. They hardly ever woke up or cried at night, I'm sure because they were never alone. I had mine in grow-bags so they never woke up from being too hot or cold.
When you come to wean make it easy for yourself by batch cooking and freezing meals in ice cube trays, which are easy to store and warm through as needed.
I used to exhaust myself ironing every garment. You don't need to do that! In fact what you need to do is look at the hacks used by other mums on their second and third child- first time around we try too hard to be perfect and that's too much for you with twins on your own.
If you haven't already joined TAMBA you definitely should- for practical support, advice, friendship, twin discounts etc- I'm sure you'll find it really valuable.
Good luck- and never forget that it will become much easier- you are probably in the toughest stage right now.

To be honest I think it will be easier to cope alone than having the added stress of a man child!

Thank you, extremely helpful advice. They are doing pretty well for night time atm. Sleeping from 7:30 till around 1/2 then straight back off until 6am so I'm able to function ok!

Housework is off the cards and I have been pretty much just basic cleaning so need to grasp that. Health visitor did their 4 month check today they're also teething so abit more chaotic with screaming etc. I'm just struggling with bathing 2. My eldest child is 16 so very helpful but don't want to burden her too much.

I will check out TAMBA

Thanks again

I became a single mum to twins when they were 4 months old, so 💐 to you @JofoXX

It was the making of me in the long term. Bloody hard at the time though.

My tips:
Military routine.
Double feeding if you can (I could not)
Batch cooking (especially once weaned)
Seize any opportunity for sleep
Big playpen (the old fashioned large ones) so you can put them down to use the loo/cook/have a cup of tea/decompress.
Kid-proof house (I put shelves up at picture rail height)

Good luck and remember the bond you get with your DTs as a result of this is magical.

Oh you're already an experienced mum- you'll definitely be fine! I think you are spot on to deprioritise housework.
In terms of bathing twins I'll admit I found it really hard, because each little boy was worried about his brother. So they used to scream and scream whenever their twin was in the water, and seemed really panicked for one another. When they were very little I didn't bath them very often, so long as their nappy area was always clean I don't think it mattered much. That was advice I had from an ex-Norland nanny so I trusted it. When I did occasionally give them a bath I used a Belfast sink rather than Bath tub as it was much more manageable.
Could a back-sling work for you to keep one baby clear while you bath the other? Or maybe that could be something your 16 year old helps with occasionally?

Thank you so much everybody. Some useful tips there and a big well done yo anybody else who is/has bringing up twins either single or with help, it's hard.

Everytime I look at them they are so worth the work it's just the guilt I feel for not being able to give them as much 1:1 as I could a singleton but hey ho.

A new adventure awaits!

I wasn't single but DP worked away during the week. I got sort of lying down bath chairs so I could do them at the same time, then sitting up ones (kind of like baby swings) when they could support their heads. But I had a friend who was single mum of triplets and she just strip washed them and they're still alive 12 years later!

Agree comments above about sleeping together in the cot. I swaddled them for a bit so they didn't clonk each other, but they've always been each other's comforter.

Good luck. Remember 70% of anything is still an A. Say yes to any and all help.

Twins are just brilliant though. There will come a point - 3 or 4? - when the benefits FAR outweigh the doubletroubleness. They live with their BFF!

They do sleep together at the mo but yep they already start to pull each others dummies, bat each other on the face etc 😆

They've just started to notice each other and smile & babble - it's such an amazing feeling! Great idea about the bath seats il get some of those and my daughter is happy ro help on the nights she finishes her apprenticeship job early enough.

I don't want to wish a second away but I can't wait until I do my last bottle😆

As the saying goes "God doesn't give twins to those who can't cope".

Sending love & good wishes to all who have taken the time to comment. I appreciate it 🙏 ❤️