What is more important, sane/hands on parents or the love of another sibling?

[Zarah786]

Hello,

Another on the fence should I have a 3rd post. I have an 8yo DD and 3yo DS, I adore them both. I would love for them to have another sibling and my clock is ticking. We can afford another, have house space, car space, financially comfortable. What I lack is support, no family close by, in-laws all a lot older and busy with their own lives.

DH and I both have full time demanding jobs and I worry about the time we can give 3 kids, I want to be hands on and involved but obviously with three we'd be spread alot thinner. I can reduce a day at work but not more than that.

Sometimes I think go for it (if all goes to plan), it'll be manic for 5 years or so and I'll be glad its done and other times I think enjoy what you have, I am so lucky to have a career, beautiful, healthy two kids, comfortable life with holidays. I'm trying to think what would actually be better for my current two.

Even now with two some days are tough, the constant mental to do list is never ending, school work is never ending, reading, language classes, feeding on top of household chores, work deadlines, parties and I'm sure it only increases as they get older? But once grown will I feel sad that my home is now quiet and I am less needed?

I also have to say, but by no means this isn’t saying my position is correct. I wanted to have my son in my life a lot, so my career took a backseat until he was almost four years old and then he went into part time nursery and then school. He is a strong and independent child because I was in his life. Secondly, having a second later in life would have negatively impacted my career. Finally, we also send him to private school and we go on holidays 3-4 times a year. Something we couldn’t do with 2-3 kids. I’m saying this as it also depends on what you want in life. Some women are happy with family being the main and sometimes, only focus in life, but I also like to do hobbies and sport outside of family life too.