Bored 9yo

[Curlewwoohoo]

My 9yo daughter is rubbish at entertaining herself. In my head, I am all for kids being bored. But it's not working out how I thought it would!

She cries, she hangs around /off me, which I find very hard to deal with as I like space, she turns that into her not being good enough, or she picks fights with family members. I wonder if it's any attention is good attention. But I'm not sure how to handle it?!

She doesnt read or game, she rarely does craft or painting or drawing, she does sometimes play dolls or with her brother, but it feels like most of the time she's flopping about! She likes the routine of school and to be busy and out at all times. But I don't want to / can't lay on constant entertainment.

If she was a 90s kid or we lived somewhere else she'd be out playing in the streets / fields I'm sure. Or she'd love to have a mate to knock about with all the time, but it's not happened that way for her.

Any advice on how I help her with this WITHOUT putting on entertainment?

If she has got books etc. then she could entertain herself (she is just choosing not to). Have you tried taking her to the library and asking her to choose some books that interest her? You could also encourage her to get a hobby (something she can do to entertain herself when at home). She could try scrapbooking, writing stories/poetry etc. You could also look online to see if there are any children’s competitions that she could enter. Or, if she likes school work, you could get her some Collins books, or print her work activities/worksheets off the internet to keep her busy.

What’s she interested in? My son isn’t great at entertaining himself and occasionally I put on those drawing videos for him, you copy along. On YouTube - a father and daughter duo. He has no confidence in his own drawing skills so helps him to have someone to copy and he’ll do that for an hour.

does she bake? 9 is old enough to follow a simple cake recipe?

People need people. Your daughter is lonely for more female company.

Modern family sizes and the lack of local friends is very very hard on kids. My child struggles with this too.

I know the above poster means well but if someone is lonely, giving them a book to read or a craft project to do alone does not help with the loneliness. All I can suggest is go on a massive parent-networking spree to try to find more local friends for her, and join as many local social groups as possible (Brownies, cadets, youth theatre, cricket, whatever) and maybe sign her up for more holiday clubs if she is willing.

I have a 10 year old like this and I dread the holidays because of it. We do organise a lot of “play dates” for her. She loves to be with people all the time. I am an introvert so find it baffling! Apart from that I have to get her involved in projects. She is quite good at helping with organising or gardening. Sometimes I just force her to entertain herself but it is a battle!

I feel bad that she can’t just go out like I did at her age but we live in a rough area so it’s not possible.

What out of school activities does she do @Curlewwoohoo?

Would she be interested in something like Dynamos Cricket?

She does lots of clubs. Choir, drama and violin at school, brownies, gymnastics, swimming - although that's not very social. She's got plenty to do, violin, school work apps, books, pets, a brother to play with...

Housework ... lots of it ....
"OH, sorry to hear you are bored ... kitchen floor needs washing/shelves need dusting/ dishwasher needs emtying/ potatoes need peeling ........"