My child is 3 months old. Me and the father have had a on and off relationship my entire pregnancy and entirely postpartum.
He constantly wants to be out driving around with bad influences and bad company going to restaurants in the city late at night and being out till early hours of the morning in cars with what are drug dealers, and dangerous dodgy people.
He is aware during our relationship I don't like that and entirely cuts them out however every time we separate he's back out doing exactly that. Despite knowing I don't like the father of my child in with the wrong crowd and should be not risking putting himself in a jail cell and leaving our child with no dad.
Recently he made the decision to just be co parents which honestly I was struggling with after the constant mental abuse, gaslighting, cheating and lies he put me through my entire relationship I felt kicked to the kerb.
Regardless, we have set days for our child, 3 hours he requests on a Friday through to Sunday. He declines to stay any longer than before midnight despite knowing our baby has his last feed, bathtime and bedtime. He would much rather prefer to be out with his friends.
Early in my pregnancy he didn't turn up, had to be begger to come and see the baby and eventually I had enough when he was in trouble with the police and I deemed him unsafe around me and our baby. Therefore asked and requested he go through the courts as he is not consistent.
He gaslit me enough to believe I am at fault, the bad woman who denied him of his small child, he runs telling everyone he missed out on time with his child because of me and my habits to argue however I am merely addressing his constant let downs and disappointments.
He has let his son down twice this weekend, ruined my plans, and all occasions has been out. Ignoring calls. Two weeks ago fell asleep and had me waiting and claims he was tired. This weekend claims he lost his phone and today said he was busy. ALL occasions I sat waiting at the set time and worrying and waiting. Calling him non stop and texting to be ignored.
I have continually turned down plans with family and friends over the weekend for him to not show up, not even the decency to let me know. Only today let's me know past the set time and claims I'm making a big deal.
Isn't aware of his sons nappy size, brought the wrong ones and claims he wasn't aware their uncomfortable being too small?
I have made the decision to cut him from his baby's life as he doesn't seem to care, in 3 weeks he's spent 3 hours with his child and has been out driving about all night with friends instead.
Am I wrong for requesting he goes to court and applys for access because I am tired of the constant heartbreak and disappointment an thank god our child is still young enough to not understand that he is constantly being let down. As his father likes to say "he doesn't know if I'm there or not".
It seems to me he is using his financial power to control me and to ruin my days knowing there are no consequences.
I have to constantly chase him for money, nappy's, milk anything. And then he says I'm crazy, insane and need help?
He brings money and says it's not my business where he got it from as we are no longer together? Do I not have the right to know if the father of my child is doing dangerous things that could hurt me or my son.