Similar age gaps anyone?

[Zarah786]

I have an 8 year old (almost 9) DD and a 3 year old DS. I love them both with all my heart. The gap was intentional due to many reasons (health & job related). I am on the fence about a 3rd, I would love for my children to have another sibling and its now or never as I am 36, DH 40.

I wonder however what the impact of another would do to my eldest, I know there are many families with all sorts of gaps, especially those with multiple children. I think a DD10, DS4 and baby (if all goes to plan) would be nice. But what about a 16, 10 and 6 year old, is that odd?

Would I be able to support my teenagers emotionally while also having a primary school child? I would want to and hope so but DH and I will continue working (flexibly of course) and as much as I have read about being spread too thin, does that impact a child emotionally.

Would like to hear from anyone that has loved the above, or similar.

Thank you in advance!

I had a 7 year old and a 4 year old when I had my third. I felt so bad that I hadn't had them spaced 2 years apart like most people! The third is now one and a half and it has been lovely. I always wanted three and it feels like now our family is complete. The little one loves the older ones and they all have fun together despite not being at the same stages. For us I think it has benefitted them to have another sibling....I am stretched far more thinly but the older two have become a bit more independent as a result and more responsible which is no harm at all. The smallest gets far less attention than the oldest did at that age and the consequence has been that she can do lots of things without help and is so independent. She is brought to school pickups, activities etc and finds that fun and the older children's friends love her and play with her. I worry about the teenage years too but I suspect a lot of that is down to luck and personality etc.
The one thing I would say is that it would have been a lot more difficult pre pandemic as my husband would have been in the office all week. He's WFH 3 days a week now and it really made a difference in the first year by being able to do small things like stick a chicken in the oven before we get home, and just being an extra pair of hands when things go pear shaped. He is lucky with his job though in that he can occasionally step away from the laptop and catch up later after the kids are in bed. It would have been really tough if he hadn't been so hand on.

@Mumof3onetwothree Thank you for your response. How old are they now if you don't mind me asking?

Do you work? I work full time and can reduce to 4 days. I work from home, my husband works from home but we both have demanding jobs, with alot of flexibility however.

These gaps are not even big gaps. I don’t think there is any reason to worry.