Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Break guilt?

4 replies

Jumpersweet · 24/03/2024 13:29

It's no secret in my family at the moment that my DS who is now 3.5 has been presenting some challenging behaviour. I mentioned to my mum that I'd been finding it tough so she very kindly offered to give him his tea last night, have him over night and bring him back after lunch today.

It's been such a lovely break. Me and DP had a date night, went to a nice nearby town for a mooch and a coffee this morning and just relaxed. We got home around 11.45 and started making a leisurely lunch. At 12, my mum messaged 'we'll be there in 5 mins'. No problem really, but obviously not the best timing - she just always gets a bit funny if i try to commit her to a time so I wrongly presumed they'd be over at about 1.

She comes through the door with her DH and starts telling me how loud, hard work, and energetic he is. She joked 'how did you end up with a kid like that?' I asked if she wanted a cup of tea before she went and she quickly said NO! We're heading out. And off they went. I'm just feeling a bit low now. I feel like I've put them out and that I've got this abnormally difficult child.

That's it really, just needed a bit of a vent. If you're lucky enough to get a break, do you ever feel guilty about it?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
StrawberryTwister · 24/03/2024 13:31

My mum would do this, offer to have my children and then moan about them the whole time she had them. Then she wondered why I stopped saying yes to her offers

Mumof3onetwothree · 24/03/2024 20:39

Some children are harder than others especially if energetic etc! Don't feel guilty for a minute for enjoying your break....parents need breaks particularly if they've got a full on child! And I can assure you that most families I know with three or more kids have at least one who is extra stubborn or boisterous or loud etc!
If your mum continues to offer to take him every now and then I would think it might be best just to grit your teeth and let any comments wash over you....the main thing you need for your sanity is a bit of time away from him every now and then. If she'll do it, brilliant! He'll get easier as he gets older.

Jumpersweet · 25/03/2024 06:18

Thanks both. It's crazy because she'll post social media updates about what a great time they're having together and when she arrives it's a barrage of negative feedback. It makes it feel like his behaviour is all my fault. I'm trying my best with new things from parenting books and his preschool is in the middle of assessing him. I'm terrible for fixating on people's perceptions and overanalyzing. He really is a lovely little boy - just a bit...enthusiastic...

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

foxp3 · 25/03/2024 06:29

Could your DS hear her complaining about him? I'd be more upset about that. Although going off on one after less than 24hrs with him (most of which he was presumably asleep) I'd also eye roll a little - it's your full time life!
I have a similarly challenging 4 year old.
I'd leave it for now, unless she brings it up herself, but if she offers to have him again remind her of her comments this time and ask if she's sure. If she still says yes at least she might keep the exhaustion to herself afterwards. It's not helpful to you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread