Social services involved - what to expect?

[Trystand]

Hi everyone,

I reported my ex for watching CSAM not too long ago. Police seized his devices and watched recordings and videos of him confessing to me to watching kids as young as infants and toddlers. He's not allowed contact with our child unless social services allows it.
We currently live separately as he's not allowed back home (bail conditions).
Social workers came to the house a couple of times, they haven't seen him yet, but I have told them that I didn't want to get back in a relationship with him and wanted to stay separated.

They said that before they could do anything they needed a meeting with police and professionals to know what exactly police have on their file.

Would they have been shown the recordings?
They are coming to see me next week and I'm really scared they are going to allow him back home or unsupervised with our child.

A social worker called me after the meeting and said that they wanted to do an assessment and a few more things with me, I asked if there was any update on the case and they said that no and it typically takes a long time. Does it mean they wouldn't have taken the recordings into consideration? I gave a statement but I don't think it was read out to them as the detective called me the next day telling me they hadn't realized I had already given one and to cancel my appointment to come to the police station to give a statement. The detective kindly reassured me that social workers has no concerns as I was doing everything I could to protect my child and that they would likely just give me some resources. Does that mean they will close the case and say unsupervised contact? Or does it mean they will encourage no contact at all and are happy we are separated?

Sorry if I'm all over the place

I imagine that They will want to be absolutely, 100 percent sure that you will not allow him back into your kids lives.

Thank you,I hope that's what it is

Our child is only 2 and can't speak yet so that makes me worry even more

Yes - I’m not a SW but work in a field that has lots of contact with SW, and I think they will be looking for reassurance that you will protect your child and not resume a relationship with him.

Will they insist on supervised contact by a third party?

I don't have any family here, it would be by his family and they're all minimizing the offense and calling it normal, saying they would have no problem leaving him alone with their own kids, that most men watch that and is unfair he got caught, that SS and police are dogs and they tried to complain about him not being allowed back home, so they are 100% not going to make sure they are always around our child.
I did share that concern with my social worker so I hope they take it into account

With regards to contact i recommended that you get legal advice. It is likely that you may need to get a child arrangements order as once the bail conditions are ended social workers generally speaking do not have the power to say if contact should or should not happen.

If you go to the family courts they will likely be asked to share their recommendation on what contact should look like however

Would that apply even if he's charged/convicted?

Hi
Yes so only bail conditions/a judge can prevent contact.

Of course you can stop contact. You would be in your rights to due to the safeguarding concerns however he may then decide to go through the courts for a child arrangements order.

I would say it is going to be far easier for you if you preempt this abd seek that legal advice now.

In terms of arranging a third party for contact if this is something you do want to explore in the future and there is no one suitable then there should be a contact centre within your local area/near your local area who can support with this. There is a cost to this however

Noted, thanks so much

Hi OP
I am a safeguarding lead in a school and have dealt (unfortunately) with a few cases like yours. Firstly without sound patronising, well done to you for taking the steps you have to protect your child. Not everyone does.

social services will be working with you to ensure that you are capable of keeping your children safe. Let’s say for example he turned up at your house unexpectedly, they would want assurance that you are taking the correct steps. Many people say they don’t want to get back into a relationship with someone and then eventually they do. Social worker will want assurance that isn’t going to happen.

in terms of him being prosecuted, unfortunately it is a slow process. However if there is no doubt he has these images on his computer he will be convicted. It will then be up to the court to decide if he is a risk to his own children. In my experience, and I’m not saying this 100% of the time would be the case the court rules yes and contact to be supervised. It is going to be very unlikely that they say he can see the kids without any supervision and a court order would then be put in place.

if for some reason he wasn’t convicted as others have said it would then be down to you to prevent his contact. Getting advice around this would be useful. If he likely to take you on if you insisted on supervised contact?

really sorry you’re in this position I imagine you are feeling awful. Please remember non of this is your fault.

I'm really scared they are going to allow him back home or unsupervised with our child.

they can only make recommendations, they don't have the power to allow him to come back home or have unsupervised contact even if they thought that was safe (unlikely). You are the mum with PR and these are your decisions to make. You don't have to let him have any contact ever. Only the court can make you allow contact and he would have to apply to court and be granted contact first, which is absolutely not going to happen while he's under investigation for CSAM. I really wouldn't worry too much about what social services say in their assessment as the most important thing is the outcome of the police investigation. What would be worrying would be if they don't charge him but you have evidence and could request a fact finding hearing if he ever did take it to court (where a judge looks at all the evidence and decides whether a thing happened or not, even without any charges being brought).