Smokers around baby- feelings?

[Summysummy1991]

evening all …

got a wedding at the end of April and DD will be 5.5 months.
feeling quite apprehensive about having drinkers holding DD but I’ve agreed with DP that anyone too drunk will be declined a hold.
but what I’m most nervous about is people who smoke…. You know you get the social smokers and the day to day smokers who get through packs and packs a night because they’re drinking!
obviously if DD is with DP’s brother (groom) for example and then they give DD to someone
who’s been smoking and they’re holding her after having a smoke.

im getting myself all worked up and now feeling like I’m dreading this so much. It’s a huge wedding with over 300 people and most of the family haven’t even met DD yet and they’ve all said how they’re expecting cuddles so I just feel like she’s going to be ripped away from me all day and night. Thank god she goes to bed early as I’ll be keeping her in her bedtime routine and leaving when it’s time.

please can someone reassure me about the smokers thing? Am I over reacting or is it genuinely as risky as I think it is?

Say no.

I just wondering why you think everybody would want to hold your baby? If this is an awful environment for the baby, I'd not be going personally.

I'm a great believer in babies being passed round and cuddled by all and sundry. But absolutely not by smokers. My fil, who was a lovely man and a fantastic granddad but a smoker, always showered and changed before holding my babies.

I always made sure fil washed his hands after smoking. We didn't see him much as they live a distance.
I would think that for 1 day I would relax a bit. Although things that might help....take the pram and use an old fashioned fly screen on the pram - not only will baby have somewhere to sleep. You can pop baby in and put the screen on if its gets too much for you woth too many people wanting cuddles.
(Remember when baby gets a little older it will be wonderful having all these family members who will be able to help you, play woth your baby, support you and baby.....so it's worth not upsetting them. Cuddles earlier in the day before too much alcohol and cigarettes....)

I don't like smokers holding my little ones so absolutely get that!

How much of a problem is it likely to be, do you know? Thinking of weddings I've been to in the past few years there have only been a handful of smokers as I think it's much less common than it used to be, so it could be you're worrying more than you need to be?

Honestly, just don't go. Your husband can go and you can stay home. That wedding sounds awful with all of those smokers attending, your baby really shouldn't be passed around like that at five months, and you will not enjoy yourself at all. Don't go.

God no. To everyone cuddling her. A midwife once told me, when facing a similar situation, 'you can hand the baby around if you want, but you'll be the one paying for it later as the baby will be so overstimulated they won't sleep.'

I just told people no, they're not a football. Yeah unhappy but not my problem.

I'd get a sling/wrap (stretchy or woven) and pop baby in it - if anyone wants to hold them tell them they're too comfy in the sling.

Thanks ladies - not going isn’t an option we’re all part of the wedding so have to be there.

i have mentioned to SIL that we don’t want smokers holding baby and obviously if there’s clear signs of someone smoking we’ll say no. It’s more me being anxious about what if I miss someone has been smoking and then they get DD for a cuddle.

DP thinks people won’t be overly fussed about DD, they’ll say hi and then go back to drinking and having fun as it’s a wedding. I’m not so sure but again probably my anxiety making me worry more.

I have no problem taking DD back when I know she’s due a nap or bottle, and I know the family won’t mind that either.

by 6pm we’ll be long gone for DD’s bedtime. It’s just in the day time, we have to be there and sadly that does mean being around smokers. If I’m honest I think most of them vape now? FIL does smoke but wouldn’t hold anyway, and one of the aunties does but I’m happy to say no as we’re fond of her anyway.

like I say I’m more worried about those who socially smoke and I’m not aware - although thinking about it now I suppose most of the drinking and smoking etc is done at the party and that usually doesn’t start until later which we might be gone by then? God I think I’ve worried myself over nothing now?

@Yazzado Thanks, funnily enough, my parents took me and my siblings to loads of events and parties when we were young too. Were the same, always been super social and love going out - since having DD I’ve just been very possessive and a bit over the top about everything!

Nobody will want to be holding your baby, they'll be at the bar and out dancing.
Don't worry