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Co-parenting arrangement with shift work

3 replies

Jen956 · 23/03/2024 21:06

Recently split from DD’s (2) father. We are now trying to sort an arrangement and how that looks - we both work shifts.

Since she was born I have done shifts around his shift pattern with my mum helping occasionally for an hour or so if our shifts crossed over slightly. Ie - if he did a day shift, I would do night shift.

Ex has a 10 day rolling pattern and has said he can only have her 2/4 of his days off within this. This now makes it incredibly challenging for me with working shifts (13 hour) as I’m unable to get wraparound care for the hours I work (would need to be from 6.45am-8.15pm if I could get childcare close to work as currently have a 30min drive to work). I’m unable to work shorter hours. My mum wouldn’t be able to help on a regular basis at these times/overnight.

Also, this then changes the days every week that DD sees her dad. Might not be too much of an issue now but as she gets older surely this is disruptive/unsettling to her when she’s at school?

Can anyone offer advice how they manage shared care with shift work? I’m really lost as to how to make this work and be as smooth for DD as possible

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
vanillawaffle · 23/03/2024 21:30

Suggestions to think about:

-Retrain so no longer doing shift work.

  • request flexible working ironically to ask for set shifts
Hello87abc · 03/11/2024 19:17

Why is it on her to retrain. Ask him how it’s fair for him to only have a couple of days. Asking how he thinks it’s going to have an impact on you? You are not the only parent, he equally created the child he can equally look after them

downwindofyou · 03/11/2024 19:20

So you both work shifts. You are both expecting YOU to solve this?

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