Almost 6 year old soiling his underwear

[Cazzie1979]

My DS is almost 6 (in Year 1) and ever since we potty trained him at the age of 3, he’s had intermittent problems with soiling his underwear. It can be anything from small stains to full on lumps of poo in his pants.

He can go months without any soiling, then he’ll have a phase where he does it again for a couple of weeks. Yesterday he got undressed for bed and I saw he had stained pants with a lump. He said it happened when he was at a school sports club which finished at 4pm - and this was now 7pm, so the poo had been stuck to him for at least 3 hours as he hadn’t told me.

He never gives me a proper reason for why it happens, sometimes he just says he didn’t realise it was coming out. I just don’t get why he doesn’t at least tell me when he’s done it so I can clean him up. I’m getting very frustrated because, as I said, he can go months without doing it so he clearly knows when he needs to go to the toilet. Last year I took him to the doctor who gave me a website to get advice from and a diary to track his bowel movements, but the second I started doing that, the problem resolved again for a few months. It just seems never ending and I worry because he’s going into Year 2 in September and I feel he should be over this phase by then.

Any advice from anyone whose child has been through similar phases would be much appreciated.

Sounds like constipation issues. Go the GP but first read the ERIC website as not all
GP are clued up on it.

Almost definitely constipated. See GP for macragol and as pp said look at Eric website. Adequate fluids and toileting routine is essential. School nursing team can also usually support.

Thank you for your advice. My sister’s son (now 12) had similar issues and I remember her saying he took macragol, I’ll take my son to the doctors and ask for it. Doctor told me to look at Eric website when we went last year, so I’ll have another look at that.

@WreckTangled when you say good toileting routine, do you mean like trying for a poo before bed every night or something like that? I will increase fluids, although he’s usually quite good at drinking water.

Best time is 15 mins after he’s eaten. At his age I would implement it after the evening meal, sit with feet on stool etc in correct position and actively try for a poo. Do this every day, the body is very clever and this will gradually become the time of day he needs to go. It’s much easier to be at home when you need a poo than at school (school toilets are the worst and have a lot to answer for in terms of children getting constipated from withholding!). Also consider that the medication might need to be long term (years) and this is ok, it also might be more ‘as required’ but this is something you’ll to work out over time.

thanks @WreckTangled really helpful advice, will start implementing this

No worries. Also he probably really doesn’t realise he’s soiled. Lots of children don’t know until they go to the loo and see it in their pants.

@Cazzie1979 ...I was in the same situation with my ds many years ago !

All of the above advice is what we had to do.

One thing that did help with the stress and worry of it all , was to always have some (lots !) spare pants and wipes in your bag !

Spare pants just became a normal staple in my big handbag !

I was told it was a constipation/overflow issue.

Good luck .🌺

We had this into secondary school until we diagnosed a digestion problem. Something is upsetting his stomach, and we found the GP (several different ones) worse than useless. It was mild IBS with specific triggers in the end, and since we identified them and avoid them like POISON, DC has had no problems at all. This also means packed lunches instead of school dinners, annoyingly, because the triggers are almost ubiquitous and nobody thinks of them as allergens, so it's impossible to be sure they're not in there.

Does he ever tell you his stomach hurts? I would keep a diary of it all, and get some Movicol into him. You need a prescription for the child one, but it's literally just half the quantity of the adult one, so just buy the adult one and give that regularly for a few weeks to level things out, and at the same time, examine his diet.

Look up FODMAPs.

Yep we had this.
Look up encoperisis, overflow soiling, Eric charity, the poo nurses video, movicol mummies.

We had help from the continence service and sorted it eventually. Its not a quick fix.

My daughter had this - it was food intolerance. In her case fructose.

@UneTasse How did you get mild IBS diagnosed - just wondering as you said the GP wasn’t that helpful? Did you work out the triggers yourself by keeping a diary of what your child ate? He doesn’t really say his stomach hurts.

I will look up FODMAPs

@Mynewnameis Thank you, I will look all those things up you suggested.

how did you get help from the continence service, do you have to be referred by the GP or do you contact them directly?

@Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky Did you get your child tested by the GP or did you get them referred or pay privately?

@bizzey Do you remember how long the constipation/overflow problem went on for (is it now resolved?) Guess it’s also the unknown that I’m worried about, how long he will keep being affected by this

My y3 has never been properly trained so different to you, but for him it is to do with interoception - he can't feel it in his tummy. Is a part of his autism - he can't feel hunger or thirst either.

@Cazzie1979 it has definitely been resolved now ...he is a young adult living with his girlfriend 😂!

I am talking about 18 + years ago...
but seeing your thread title brought it all back ......and it feels like yesterday !

I am not going to lie ...there was no overnight fix .

It did take time of various medicine dosages and routines.

If memory serves me correctly...and please someone tell me if I have got my memory a bit muddled ! ...

But I remember being told that the bowle had to shrink back to its normal size ...in diameter ?. after the blockage .

And that as he got older , the digestive area had more room ...for things to pass through..

Food diary helped the Paediatrician...but I would advise only changing/limiting food groups on medical supervision.

I do remember getting the " whiff of poo " from ds .(.always at the feckin in laws for Sunday tea ! )

And just quietly saying ..xx let's go upto the toilet .

So no fuss..just discreet...

But , he knew he had no choice!

We had this for years. It used to really get me down.

The professional advice we were given was to get them into a really good routine. So sit them on the toilet about half an hour after dinner (I think it was half an hour). Get them to blow bubbles, or at least so the same blowing action as that. It did really help. My son didn’t seem to know when he needed to go.

There’s a website called ERIC which is mainly aimed at wetting but I’m sure has some poo advice too. It was a while ago for us!

Good luck!

EDIT : Just noticed that most of the advice I’d given has already been given. Should have read the comments - sorry!

@Littlemissnikib ..not the blowing bubbles thing ! 😂...
Yes ...I have now remembered that was something as well..

As for that poo chart we had to do...
Score a number against what type of poo was done ...

Gosh what was it called...
Brighton chart ?

Bristol !! 😂

marking place on this helpful thread!

@Cazzie1979 I hope you don't think I am minimising your worry and stress by putting laughing things on my posts .

It really is a horrible situation to be in.

Please go to GP and they will listen.

It is just a bodily function development that needs a bit of help.

It is not your fault or your ds's.

Hopefully the responses you have had show that it is more common than what people think.

🌺

@Cazzie1979 just through go but was about 11 years ago

@bizzey oh no I don’t think you’re minimising it - I can imagine when you’re child is an adult that it’s something you can look back at with humour! I will definitely go back to the GP and get some help for it.
i know what you mean about the accidents always being at the in-laws, I always feel stressed going there as I just know it will happen while we’re there lol

bizzey is right, what usually happens is at one point of another there’s impacted stool and it stretches the colon. A good way to tell if the colon has been stretched is if sometimes they have really big poos, that’s why medication can be needed for a long time to allow soft stools passing regularly allowing it to go back to normal size. This impact on can also cause temporary nerve damage hence children being unable to feel when they soil. Frequent soiling is a good sign that there’s impacting and a disimpaction regime can be required. It’s a complete PITA but very common. And agree with pp that GP’s aren’t always great, I’ve supported children whose parents were consultants, childhood constipation can present differently to adults.

The school nurse was able to refer us. Or gp