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Parenting

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Am I in the wrong?

1 reply

DeepLurker · 21/03/2024 21:25

New to this. Bare with me.

I have an issue with my children's school.

My son is in year 4 at school, he's 9 years old. He got a red card in school, which basically means he doesn't have a lunch time for a whole week.
He eats lunch in the hall as usual and then goes in to a quiet room and sits in silence for the remainder of lunch time. He got this as he'd ignored a lunch time assistant in the playground at lunch time, he had gone down some stairs in the playground that the children know they're not allowed to go down, and he hid in to the cloak room with two other children and they hid from the teacher. When they were called, they all ignored. When confronted he didn't act in the appropriate manner and didn't believe he was in the wrong. They explained why he was in the wrong properly and he agreed.

So we'd agreed that he will face the consequences.

Now my issue is (I maybe overthinking this) my son was racially abused at school a few months ago. The school never informed me, my son did. School hadn't followed any protocols and had not contacted me or the other parent and didn't see it as a big thing. However, I did. I contacted the police as I wanted them to take me seriously and I wasn't allowing my child to face such a serious incident alone! The girl was old enough to understand what she had said.

My other son started school in September and he was subject to racial abuse as well by another boy, he was told only white boys are allowed on the climbing frame and no brown people are allowed. He was only 4/5 so I didn't take this as serious as he was very young. Very confusing as to why such a young child would speak like that but due to his age I felt he wouldn't of totally understood. However, I know my child would not act like that at 2, 3, 4 or any age. It's often taught behaviour. I did expect school to ring home and let the parents know and then have a word with him in school too to let him know that racism is not acceptable. But nope. Nothing. Until I kicked up a storm. My child gets picked on for minor things majority of the time but these other children faced no consequences at all and on the school behaviour policy it states racism is a serious misbehaviour so I'd expect them to do the same for these children too and give them red cards and have meetings with their parents but they didn't believe it was necessary.

I do know I can overreact sometimes. I don't approach situations well at all times and I often speak without thinking and it can land me in trouble. I'd rather be told I'm wrong and sit down and think about my actions and work on myself as I'm learning everyday, I'm not perfect but I am my childrens biggest advocate. I have to support them without suffocating him if that makes sense. I believe so strongly in fairness. I am very confrontational. I struggle a lot with emotions and feelings and I don't always understand social queues. Which is why I've come to ask for advice as my approach is often the wrong approach but I believe my feelings are valid in this situation.

OP posts:
JanefromLondon1 · 21/03/2024 21:29

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