Is it bad to still feed my 2 year old?

[PjQueen89]

My 2 year old HATED being spoon fed when he was younger. We did full BLW as that’s all he would tolerate anyway! Now I need to feed him half the time otherwise he gives up and wants to go play. I know appetite can slow down at this age but once I start feeding him and maybe sing him some nursery rhymes, he can then eat a good amount so I don’t think it’s that he’s not hungry. He’s maybe just got lazy or gets bored and would rather be doing other things? Is this a bad habit to get into or one of those phases that will pass?

I know everyone will say ‘do what works for you’ but there’s an awful lot of delayed milestones going on with children at the moment in terms of eating, toileting and other social things. I would be encouraging him to eat himself, in whatever way worked for him.

At that age I would do whatever works so you are satisfied he’s got food in his belly, and not overthink it. Chances are he’ll want to do it all himself again soon. It’s stressful thinking that they’ve not eaten enough!

Delayed milestone my arse. Mine is fiercely independent and CAN feed himself, with cutlery, but often he can’t be arsed, and I’ll try every trick in the book. If the only remaining option is to feed him so he gets fed, that’s what’s happening- same as how I’ll take over cleaning his teeth so I know it’s been done properly. Certainly won’t be forever!

Almost 3 and still spoon feeding most meals over here. Otherwise he will happily not eat. He can feed himself and he’s a happy, intelligent, fulfilled little boy. Take the pressure off and do what works for you. You’re his mum and you know best!

Does he go to nursery? How does he eat there as part of the group?

From someone who got the whole thing for ages. Do not worry. We resolved it. You will too. Make sure they are fed, anyway and do not pay attention to anyone.

If your child goes underweight, the ones telling you to train him strictly will be the first to throw stones at you. Do for your family what is doable, especially in eating. This is highly individualised matter and only highly trained private nutritionist are able to provide any proper help.

Not even the numerous NHS nurses, gp s and so on

Mine loves eating at a little group table at nursery, he’ll eat all manner of things he’d turn his nose up at home. It’s the social aspect with his mates. At home with us he’ll play along but not really actually eat anything. Short of inviting all the neighbour’s children round every mealtime Im at a loss of what to do- I generally have to accept that he just doesn’t eat much with us :( (for now, I hope it’s a phase 🙏🏻)

Ds went through a period of having every meal in his plastic lunch box. Sat at the table no problem... Worked well!

My 4 year old is going through a phase of wanting to be fed like a baby.
She's perfectly capable and has been since a very young age, but she likes the attention. It's so frustrating and I know I shouldn't be doing it, but faced with dragging meals out for an hour or more vs shoving a few forkfuls in her mouth and cracking on with baths, I do give in sometimes 😬

My 2yo (+2mo) is going through a phase at the moment of spoon feeding himself the first few spoon fulls then giving up. It’s like he can’t be bothered or gets distracted as he happily feeds himself the finger foods. I take over the spoon feeding bits just to get the rest of the meal into him as I want to continue his weight gain. As a baby he was on and sometimes below the 0.4 centile so was under the care of a dietician until last year. He is now just below the 50 centile. This works for us and that’s what matters. He’s meeting all of his milestones (sometimes exceeding them) and is a happy, intelligent and healthy little boy. This is just a phase which he will grow out of.

He’s perfectly capable of feeding himself. He can use a spoon and a fork himself, he just seems to get bored and messes around. He’s exceeding lots of other milestones.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum He feeds himself fine at nursery. He also eats more variety at nursery, which is some sort of miracle!

@Lalalalalabambaa Sometimes I think he plays up for me for the attention too! But also if I left him to it, he just wouldn’t eat.

@FarmersWife2019 My boy had weight issues as an infant as well, which definitely makes all this food stuff harder as that anxiety doesn’t leave you does it.

Thanks all for the reassurance!

Absolutely! The anxiety doesn’t leave you and I have found weaning quite stressful because of it. He was on Infatrini prescription formula from 3mo to over 1yo. I have tried to be strict but he just wouldn’t eat either. And then we both lose - he’s hungry and I’m anxious. For us there is an element of playing up mum and dad whilst eating the exact same thing for grandparents without a fuss. Like I said… intelligent little boy.

Given your update it is understandable. But I would be trying to encourage independence at regular intervals.

The distraction and feeding may impact their learning their appetite limits. Would they play with you a game, you feed them one spoon, they feed you one spoon then you both do a spoon yourself each ?

I think that was one of the ways we managed my youngest,😉

I knew it was attention with mine as these problems only started when her little sister started weaning.

One thing I tried recently is playing a game of 'Simon says'. Eg 'Simon says eat some salmon'. That has got her eating by herself again and made mealtimes a bit more fun.

I wouldn't stress about it though, just do what you need to do. They always grow out of these annoying phases!

You're doing fine and your little one will be fine too. Your post brought back a lovely memory to me, my parents looked after my niece when her parents were working from baby to starting school and every morning before playschool and even school for a while my father fed my niece her breakfast, it was like a Broadway production with about a dozen little plastic dogs of varied breeds who had adventures on the kitchen table every morning and two usually ended up getting c/w kitchen roll wedding dress. My niece always ate well and an extremely varied diet but those morning were special to her and indeed to my dad as well, your little one might just be going through a phase of needing a little more attention and there's no harm in that. My niece is 14 now and recently found one of the little toy dogs, she put it in her pocket, said nothing and it's on her bookshelf now so it obviously meant something to her.

@Mudflaps That’s a lovely story and a lovely way to look at it ☺️ I hope my son fondly remembers the broadway shows I put on for him one day 😂

@Lalalalalabambaa Simon says is a great idea to give me a break from singing nursery rhymes! 😂 I’ll give it a go!

With my 3yo we get her to start but may help her with a few spoonfuls in the middle to get her back engaged with eating or to finish off. I would say she typically eats 2/3rds of the meal herself.
It was probably around 2y3m that she really started to feed herself. She was very slow to wean and didn't eat a meal until 13 months and it wasn't until 20 months that she ate enough to wean her off formula so she possibly was on the slow side of independence.

It's easier when we are eating with her as we asked her to feed herself whilst we eat and as we get most of the way through our meals we help her a little bit.