Nursery raised nappy changing concerns

[Ginspirational]

So my husband picked up our 20 month old DD from nursery today, and her key worker pulled him to one side and said they had some concerns. Recently when they’ve changed her nappy it’s taken 2 people, she goes stiff as a board and really refuses. Apparently she never used to be like this - she’s been going to nursery for a year.

I did ask my husband what exactly are they concerned about but he said they didn’t really elaborate, just asked if there had been a change at home etc.

My DD has done this with me on occasion, usually when I change her on a cold surface. I’ve not noticed any shift in her behaviour. She is with me, my husband or at nursery - nobody else looks after her.

Should I be concerned? He said it felt like nursery were accusing of something untoward but it absolutely wouldn’t be myself or my husband, if anything I’d be questioning the nursery. I will speak to them next week but feeling a bit worried now. I thought it was usual toddler nappy refusing behaviour!

She's at the age when she doesn't want to be restrained. Yes, it may be worth keeping an eye on her behaviour but it's probably nothing to worry about. Also bear in mind that nursery have a duty to report anything that could possibly be a potential danger sign. We would worry if they didn't! So yes, keep an eye out (as you would anyway) but don't panic yet.

They will be raising a safeguarding concern as this change in behaviour could indicate sexual abuse. I suggest you call them and arrange a meeting to discuss it all as it could get serious if they report this... sorry to sound harsh, I work in the sector. However, they would need more evidence than this.

Just try changing from nappy’s to pull ups. If just wet you don’t have to lie her down like with a nappy.

It took 3 of them to change my LO in nursery… it turned out to be a phase for him. But they need to raise these concerns to keep children safe x

My DD has done this with me on occasion, usually when I change her on a cold surface.
Put a towel down first. Lying half naked on a cold surface isn't pleasant at the best of times, nevermind when you are a helpless child.

Nursery aren't making specific accusations at all, they're just doing their job as a change in behaviour around something like having a nappy changed could be a safeguarding concern. They have to ask, they're just doing their job. Don't get upset about that. I would talk to the nursery though, arrange a meeting as PP said.

Thanks everyone - I think I was just horrified at the idea of anything like that happening. I also did only get my DH’s recollection of the conversation, and he’s rubbish at asking questions, so I will definitely request a meeting.

Sorry @INeedAnotherName I meant usually when we are out and about and I don’t have anything like that to hand.. she’s only changed on the bed/carpet etc at home, propped up with her favourite pillow - she definitely isn’t unloved 😂

I think they are being a bit ridiculous jumping to potential sexual abuse/ safeguarding concern if this is the only evidence. Both my kids done this, 11 month old currently still doing it. It’s notthe nakedness or intimate cleaning that they are objecting to it’s the lying down and being restrained in our case, both fine being naked in other situations bathing and cleaning etc. change her to pull ups and do it standing up and see how you get on.

To be fair they're not really jumping to anything, they have a legal obligation to ask questions. Every little thing can be a safeguarding concern. The staff will know that more often than not it's just that the child is going through a phase where they hate the whole process of being changed like you say, or they're going through a phase of saying "no" to things, or any number of reasons. My 7 month old DD writhes about while being changed because she just wants to go and play 😂 But anyway, staff have a duty of care. I've worked in school based nursery and we would have to ask questions about anything like that. Imagine if we didn't? On very rare occasions there is sinister stuff at play, like that poor little boy Daniel Pelka years ago. You just can't assume that everything is fine.