How to get info from 3 yo DS! Sudden dislike for nursery

[Whereinharrogate]

3 yo DS has been settled at nursery for 2 years but in the last couple of months has become more reluctant to go and even cried at drop off. The staff have started mentioning that he's been quiet or not joined in much too. Nothing has changed that we're aware of and although i'm discussing it with nursery, i want to learn more from DS about how he's feeling and what the problem is. But how to get that out of him!

Does anyone have any thoughts/tips on how i can talk to him about this? Or maybe how much to expect him to be able to answer?

When i ask "why don't you want to go/why don't you like it" he says "because i don't". I don't want to put words in his mouth so i'm trying for quite open questions but if i ask closed ones "do you like XX person", "do you like the garden/the activities/dinner" he says yes to everything except "do you feel happy at nursery" :(

Hi OP, Did you have any luck? Mine started when he was 2 and was very happy until this year after about 6/7 months. He's had a good last few months, but suddenly very unhappy again at age 3

It may be that your 3 year old doesn’t understand or can’t find the words to explain what’s changed. If one of the other children is bullying him or a staff member snapped at him, he’ll feel unhappy but might not be able to articulate it.

Try using emojis to help him. Show him a few emojis of sad, worried, angry, frightened, happy etc and get him to tell you what feelings they represent. Tell him this is a new game to play. Over a couple of days carry out several 5 - 10 minute sessions getting him to use the emojis to express his feelings about past, current and future events such as going to the park, shopping, when he fell and hurt himself a little. The examples should start off being obvious, moving on to more nuanced. Progress to talking about nursery and ask how he feels about his main carer and other staff he knows by name, working on each person individually. At a later session, name some of the other children at nursery as examples. Go on to talk about events at nursery such as mealtimes, sharing toys, having nappy changed/going to toilet, playing outside and so on.

If there is an issue, it should surface. If he’s reluctant to communicate, use a soft toy or play figure to represent him as some children find this easier.

I’ve used this as a parent or grandparent with success. However, there should be someone else who has greater knowledge of this system and who can give more help.

@Honeysuckle16 thanks so much for this reply - will definitely bear it in mind in the future.

@Sadmamatoday sorry to hear that - I hope you gets somewhere with your LO from PPs advice. I tried a lot of role play/games with DS and found out some snippets that I didn't know (things like they all have a toothbrush and brush after dinner!) But didn't get to the bottom of it. He did just come out the other side in the end.