Toddler is so friendly, but others don’t respond

[Shleepymummy]

My toddler is so friendly with other children, and it isn’t particularly reciprocated. It has never bothered me as I know children can by shy etc but a few times recently my DD has mentioned ‘x didn’t want to play with me’. I have friends with children the same age as my DD (she is 2 yr 8 months and friends children are 3). We meet regularly for play dates and also a dance class, plus birthday parties. My DD will go up and say hello, want to play, and is often rejected/the child want to stay with their Mum or do their own thing.
I can’t change that, just wondering how I can support my DD with it, how I can make sure she’s ok and doesn’t feel disheartened?
I have tried saying it’s ok mummy will play with you….but she’s not my biggest fan 😂 and just wants to be with her peers

It's very normal. Kids usually play alongside each other, rather than with each other until past 3. My little girl is the same as yours tho, even before 2 she'd want to play and others didn't really want to.

Your daughter is ahead of the average child her age in noticing that, verbalising that and (if she is) being worried or upset by that for any length of time.

I would say "so-and-so will play when he/she is ready" and not make any more about it.

I agree. One of my daughters was very advanced in language and social skills, and always wanting to play with other children, often quite a bit older. I just distracted and told her I couldn’t make others play with her. Now in her 30s, she is very successful and popular, and has many friends. The others just caught up and realised what a great friend she made.

I would just make sure you know you are proud of how friendly and inclusive she is to reinforce that her behaviour is great, and then explain that sometimes other kids are busy and focused on something else and that doesn’t mean they may not want to play later. I might also try and help her by integrating playing with her and another toddler (as they are often more receptive to play with an adult involved). Helping her understand that she doesn’t have to get a positive response every time is the key as she is choosing to be friendly, they can choose not to be, and it doesn’t change how great she is.

Sometimes it is other parents that are not the most friendliest and sadly that can rub off on the child. My dd was like this, she is 7 now but as a 2-3 year old she was met with a lot of negatively from other adults when she tried to play with their child. It was horrible to watch, but I tried to educate her that not everyone is friendly.

My DD (3 yo) is like this too. She will run up to children in the park and ask to play - even 8 or 9 year olds! If it's an older child, I try to steer her towards children her own age.

It's hard if she gets rejected, but I usually try to explain that it's not because she did anything wrong, but the other child is a bit shy or busy. I praise her for being friendly too. It can help if she has a ball or something else to entice the other child in!

She does occasionally get disheartened and stop asking children to play, but bounces back after a few days.

I'd try and look for some slightly older friends. It sounds like she's just reached the 'playing with' stage a little earlier than your friend's children.