My baby takes short naps and is up every 20 mins. He will sleep anywhere but home!

[OB51]

Hello,

I am at my wits end! My partner works away so I am parenting my 4 month old baby alone most of the time. He has always been a difficult sleeper but more so recently! He refuses to nap at home and will wake up every 10 mins often resulting in naps lasting 20 mins maximum. If we are out in the pram or at my parents house he will sleep for hours. My parents have a travel cot for when he comes to visit during the day and despite all the noise (talking, dog barking etc) he will sleep soundly for hours! At home... different ball game! I keep the bedroom dark, white noise, swaddle etc but he wakes up constantly. Due to the exhaustion of this, he often ends up in bed with me (following co sleeping safely, please no hate!). But I really want to stop this but every time I try he is up all the time and I end up giving in early hours of the morning. When he sleeps with me, he only wakes once for a bottle. Any similar babies? Or any advice? I have tried and keep the house somewhat noisy but no luck so far. I can't tell if he just hates his bassinet or if there is something I am doing wrong! I would blame this on a sleep regression but he has been like this since birth!

Thank you for reading! Any advice or tips are greatly appreciated!

Pram naps sound pretty normal for his age. My baby didn’t nap in his cot for longer than 30 mins until he was 6 months old, it was contact/car/pram naps until then. They’re too young to connect sleep cycles without help (e.g. parental comfort or movement).
Co sleeping with 1 bottle at night sounds like the best way to get a good amount of sleep for now! It won’t be forever but the regression is rough and you need to do whatever it takes to survive.

Thank you for the reassurance! Feel much better about it!

Why would you get hate for cosleeping?

It's biologically the norm. read up about the benefits of cosleeping, it's really amazing and no need to feel pressure to stop this (especially when baby is so young f).

Sleep is king. If it helps then do it! (I also love it and don't want it to end, currently cosleeping with #2).

Agreed that baby naps are all over the place I have a 9 month old who is getting more reliable but still could nap for hours or 20 mins and no way of knowing.

Best advice is try not to let it stress you out to be honest! Get a jumperoo which buys you time to get chores done and put baby down.

Thank you for your reply! I have heard alot of mums who are against co sleeping, so was avoiding negative comments. I agree the benifits are amazing so feel much more relaxed about it now!

I'd get the same type of travel cot your parents have and recreate the conditions at home and see if that helps. If he sleeps well with light and noise, I'd go for that for naps at least.

This is VERY normal for this age, they tend to cat nap. My kids didn’t sleep in cots in bedrooms properly until they were about 12 months old or older. However, they slept like clockwork in moving prams, napping in my arms etc. try letting them nap in your arms with a cup of tea and a box set if you need a rest.
honestly, it’s just a phase and another phase will come along soon. Babies are frequently terrible sleepers! They do get better on their own.
as for co-sleeping, sometimes it’s the only solution. Just make sure the duvet is wrapped round your lower half and far away from him. No pillows anywhere near him and so on

Thank you for the reassurance!

I co-slept with both of mine and it was the only way I could actually get some sleep. If you’re happy with this and can get a good nights rest then don’t stress about it. Also, trying to get them to sleep in the cot and then giving up halfway through the night and bringing them into bed is fine too! I did that with my first and eventually she spent longer and longer in her own bed.

4 Month sleep regression.

TOTALLY normal part of development. They stop drifting through sleep cycles and briefly awake between them. If there is something to help them sleep e.g. mummy cuddles, nice soothing motion of a pram or car then they go straight back to sleep, possibly not even opening their eyes. If they take a dummy you might also get long naps of it doesn't fall out.

Don't worry about it! There are a couple of options. I favour just letting them have the comfort. TookDC4 for a lovely long pram nap this morning. Tweeting birds, woodland flowers, people out doing gardening.... great for my mental health! If it had been raining if have just gone to bed with her or if I had things to do Id put her in the sling.

My experience is that by 5.5 or 6 months, most will do a decent nap if you help them past the first sleep transition. So walk in the pram for45 minutes, then you might be able to park them in the garden for another 90 minutrs or so. Or snuggle up in bed, give them a quick feed when they start stirring then sneak off when they are deeply asleep. The avrage for being able to link sleep cycles without assistance is 9 months, but mine have all been a bit older than that. That's when long naps without the need to resettle reappear.

Alternatively, you can sleep train. Mostly it comes down to teaching them to go to sleep without assistance from you so that they don't need assistance between cycles either. I've never done it as I thibk no-get variants are tough and time consuming, but my impression is that most people do.

All babies change their sleep patterns at 4 months. Some it's more noticeable and more difficult to deal with them others. Best of luck with whatever path you choose.

Thank you so much for the advice!

Thank you!