How do you discipline a biting toddler who has delayed development and limited understanding?

[scaredofff]

Please share your advice on how I parent ds 2y6m - he started biting on Tuesday

Before this week I've never had a tantrum from him. He doesn't scream or cry. He isn't loud or energetic. My HV describes his character as passive and he's a kind and sweet little boy
But he bit me on Tuesday afternoon in the shoulder, my mum later that day and has since tried to bite dp when he was going for a cuddle, grabbed his finger and pulled it towards his mouth to bite later on, snapped 5x in the dark when I was putting him to sleep and last night got me in the shoulder again on way to bed

I am on edge!! I can feel myself flinching which isn't good for either of us

DS understanding is limited and he doesn't have any words yet. We're waiting on a paediatric referral for diagnosis and we see a therapist at Speech & Language therapy. She's taught us loads about how to engage in games with him in a way he understands and also ways to communicate that keeps it simple for him.

But I haven't seen her since this started so I don't know what to do. How do I explain in a way he understands that biting is bad and not to do it? How do I discipline him? I've never had to before, he has been the perfect child up till now!

Please help

I would say "no"! in a firm voice with a cross face the moment he bites. He'll work it out in no time. Please don't worry, most toddlers go through a biting phase at some point!

I agree, without language his communication will be happy/sad/angry face, and the slight shock of hearing your tone of voice when you say ‘no’. When you say limited understanding, what sort of things does he understand?

Hmmm, if it’s completely out of character and out of the blue like that I wonder if he’s in pain? Might be worth getting him checked out.

Thanks everyone

My instant reaction was 'aaah' while trying to unclench his teeth from my shoulder. He didn't let go. I put him down as soon as he let go and definitely told him 'NO!' but thinking back I maybe said too many words - IIRC I told him it was bad, made mummy upset and walked away.
He wasn't bothered but now I'm thinking about it, if I've to "keep it simple" then a firm NO or STOP would be better. I'll try and remember this for next time

It's just the shock and pain of it made forget what I already know. Bugger

Re his understanding - not very much yet

We have started making and using a book with photographs of snacks, the car, things that motivate him and places we go/people we see so we can prepare him for what's about to happen and he can communicate things he wants by giving me the picture of food/game/tablet. He's not quite got it yet but it has only been a couple of weeks and I do think it will help

When things started getting difficult around 12mo I would take him to baby classes and when the room started to fill up and he was nervous and wanted to leave he would rest his teeth on my leg or arm then start applying pressure. It was his way of telling me he wanted to leave

DS does have communication with me it's just not in words. He spends every minute with me so I have learned him and how he is when he wants something/is in pain/moods etc. and the way he is biting is an assertion of his boundaries. I am so empathetic that he doesn't have speech and is frustrated so is using this as a way to tell us what he doesn't want, but I'm not happy for it to continue, he needs to know it's not ok. In a kind way that he understands

That’s interesting about the boundaries. It’s not exactly the same but my DS had hearing difficulties and a speech delay/disorder as a younger child and he started to hit/bite at about 2 or 3 I think. I think it was often related to boundaries too and also frustration. He still will very occasionally hit his sisters if he feels his boundaries are being breached, although thankfully far less frequently now (he’s 6).

When he was a toddler his speech therapist told me it was important to ask/tell him in simple terms or via signing before we did something like pick him up or change his nappy and we had picture cards for a time too. It sounds like you are well ahead of the game in that respect. Lucky your DS having a parent who is investing so much in communicating with and understanding him! I hope the biting phase passes quickly.