How to get toddler to stay in room

[Emmaaa1990]

So my little girl is 3 she will be 4 in May. A few weeks ago we started putting her potty outside her room to encourage her to get dry at night. Since then she comes out of her room various times before bed, and had started coming out of her room earlier and earlier shouting for us.

We've had one of those gro clocks for ages and it always worked great but since we have explained about coming out her room for a wee it's al gone tits up!

She thinks she can just come out regardless of her clock colour. We take her back and make her wait but it's getting tiresome and I don't understand why she's doing it!

She's been awake since 5am (that I know of) this morning and came out her room at 5.30 calling for me. This has been going on for a few weeks now and I don't know how to stop it? Any advice welcome or stories where people have been through the same! Might help me stay sane!

Thanks!

I would say put the potty inside her room - no need to come out then

What’s the thinking behind a potty outside of her room? At that age I’d just expect her to go to the loo on her own when she needs it. If she’s not peeing in her sleep but is doing it consciously when awake in her pull up after waking then I’d just ditch the pull ups and she’ll probably take herself without anyone making a big deal of it- worked for both of mine anyway who did that and they were 3-3.5. If she’s peeing when asleep then she’s not ready to be dry at night so stick with the pull ups and there’s no need to have a potty anywhere. The only reason I’d have a potty upstairs like that is if you only have a downstairs bathroom but then why not put it in her room, on a puppy pad if you’re concerned about the carpet, so no excuse to come out?

Thanks both the only reason for it outside the room is that we have a little landing light - I don't think she would see it in her room. He got clock does emit abit of blue light but I'm not sure if it's enough. She is still weeing in her sleep though, this is why I haven't done it sooner but conscious that she's 4 soon. I know all children get dry at different times but I would have thought she would be able to do this by now. Maybe I should test the potty in the room and maybe just got for knickers next weekend and see what happens? 🙈

She'll be dry when, and only when, her hormone kicks in. No amount of "training" will sort it out.
It's absolutely normal for U5 not to be dry.

https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/nightdryness

Most you can do is encourage her to go to the loo if she wakes in the night... But otherwise it's just a waiting game.

DD is 4y3m and has night time nappies, 99% time dry. So will probably use them up and then stop them.

No point stressing anyone out about it all.

We did no underwear and PJ bottoms so they could very much feel they weren’t in a nappy and knew they had to get up for the loo. But that was only because we were sure they were getting through the night dry and then sometimes weeing in their pull up after waking out of laziness. That was all it needed and they knew where the bathroom was. I think they’d had been horrified by the idea of a small potty at 4!

But honestly, I’d just forget the whole thing. If your DD is still weeing in her sleep she’s clearly not producing the necessary hormone yet, which is totally normal because she’s still 3: 4 is the average age to be dry at night and medically it’s not considered late until 7. Night time training isn’t something you can force because it’s hormonal and it’s really not worth the disruption to sleep to try. Take away the pull ups when she’s had a week dry and leave the hallway light on so she can find her way to the loo.

Thanks guys you have made me feel better! I felt pressured to get her dry and was made to feel like she should be by now. Think it's made me panic about it and wonder why she's not doing it yet. You have given me a new perspective maybe she's not quite ready yet and I should wait abit longer

If she is still weeing in her sleep I would consider leaving her in nappies for night time or looking at what she's drinking 2 hours before bed. If it's anything other than water then that might be why she's waking needing a wee

Also although I agree with the comments about the hormone, it does sound as though your daughter is waking and getting up to use the potty, so it does sound like she's capable to be clear. If she wasn't she would just be wetting herself? It might be that she's getting used to jt.

When we started with my dd the first few nights she was so worried about wetting herself she would wake up and do a wee, then she just went all night again.

But we don't give her any milk or juice after 4 only water

I think I definitely need trial a few things I think! I don't wanna push her if she's not ready butshe's been potty trained in the day for ages now. It's so hard knowing what's right so I appreciate everyone's advice!

Day time and night time are 2 totally different beasts, how long she’s been trained for is totally irrelevant as it has no baring on when her body will start producing the hormone. From talking to friends and the class mum’s I’d say it’s 50:50 dry at night when starting reception. So she’s not late, and it really isn’t anything to worry about.

If you do want to help things along- drink lots during the day to improve bladder capacity, ideally water or milk only (no blackcurrant!), watch the caffeine in the PM (I know she’s not on the coffee yet but remember chocolate contains caffeine), no drinks after dinner and ideally for 2 hours before bed but obviously don’t deny her water if genuinely thirsty I just wouldn’t offer it, go for a wee before the bath and afterwards to double check.

You can't train her to be dry at night. She needs to be producing a hormone that wakes her up when she needs a wee.

@InTheRainOnATrain that's really helpful to know! I was dry at 2 according to my parents and it just made me think wow we are late.

Really good advice with the caffeine I hadn't thought about that, I will start limiting drinks after dinner she does drink a lot so that probably doesn't help but she always has.

I will give that a try!

Get a dim nightlight for her room so she can see the potty in her bedroom.

@Blueberry911 I could look into that Thankyou! She's abit of a strange one tho whenever we've had the Calpol plug in even that light she didn't want in her room! Haha that was a while ago tho so it's deffo worth another try!

Parents misremember a lot ...

They'll say "oh you were dry overnight at 2!" Conveniently forgetting a detail like, they lifted you to the loo at 10pm every night...or forgot the wet nights etc

So true!

And if the average age is 4, remember that for every genuinely dry at night 2YO there’s probably another kid that doesn’t get there until 6.

Very true! And it was like 30 odd years ago! So nice to hear as I have been worrying about it but Thankyou all for making me feel better!

Our 3 year old is currently wetting the bed every other night, but dry for some nights, depending on fluid intake, how tired they are when they go to bed etc! We know we're expecting a lot of them to start being dry at night now so we're not making a fuss, just taking it as it comes and praising the dry nights.

You can get character nightlights online for their favourite TV/book character and pop them on the floor next to the potty, if battery operated.

@Blueberry911 aww yeah thats good! Oh that's good to know I will check those out!

So our son went through something like this. We took his baby gate away as he was able to climb over it and all of a sudden he went from a perfect bedtime routine to getting out of bed loads and waking up early 🤦🏻‍♀️

What worked for us was a sticker reward chart for every night he stayed in bed and lots of persistence. It was horrible for about three weeks but he's just about back to normal now thank goodness 🙏🏻

DS wasn't dry at night until 10 and they won't even investigate until 8 which is still within the normal range so definitely don't worry if she's still weeing in her sleep

Our bladder training advice was:

• No blackcurrant squash it irritates the bladder
• Large drinks in the day to expand the bladder eg a cup full of water drank within 15 minutes rather than sipping throughout the day
• no drinks at all 2 hrs before bed
• wee just before getting ready for bed, PJs, teeth, story, another wee

He just wore "night time pants" which were pull ups.

At 3 she's absolutely normal to still be wet overnight!!

@TheBirdintheCave god as horrible as it is it's nice to know others have gone through the same! We do have a reward chart for like kind hands/getting dressed etc but it doesn't always work. I might have a think of another type of reward though that could be helpful!

@FusionChefGeoff oh wow I think so many people make you feel like they should be dry! I'm so happy to know all of this!

@FusionChefGeoff

Great advice there that's so good I'm going to focus on the bigger drinks and stopping drinks 2 hours before bed. I will see if I notice any improvement but yeah I think we will keep the pull-ups going for a while. I feel so much better talking on here and appreciate all the help and advice so Thankyou 😊

Next time you're in the supermarket look at the huge range of night time pull ups and the ages on them. It's definitely very usual for kids to need to wear something well into primary age.