Sleep routine

[Rose1999]

My just turned 3 month old isn't really in a bedtime routine yet. I've read so many say theirs sleep 7-7! I'm clearly failing! My little one is still sleeping in my room so I didn't want to put her up early alone and I don't want to go to bed at 7pm myself. She usually sleeps in my arms from 9pm then goes up with me when I go to bed, feeds and sleeps (still wakes up regularly though)

I feel like I'm failing!

Mine didn't getinto a bedtime routine until 7 months. It's not uncommon, and you haven't failed. At 3 months babies haven't started to form sleep habits, and routines are for parents rather than the child.

Put her to bed in the carrycot base at 7ish, then when you go to bed just bring the whole thing with you. If/when she wakes in the night transfer to cot after feeding/settling. That's all you need to do really.

Oh goodness, you're not failing! All babies are different. The occasional baby does sleep 7-7 from an early age. I'd say most take a lot longer to get into this pattern - some take years and years. Please please don't blame yourself.

I seem to recall reading that "sleeping through the night" at that age really means sleeping for an uninterrupted stretch of 5+ hours, so if you've achieved that you're winning! But even if your baby still wakes up every 3 hours it's perfectly normal, and could continue for many months yet.

I have a 6 month old. At 3 months she went to sleep around 6-7 p.m., slept until about 2 a.m., had a feed, went back to sleep, then woke again around 4 a.m. for a feed, then back to sleep. Not bad, I thought! Then the 4 month sleep regression hit and we were back to 3+ night feeds and 4.30 a.m. wakings for a while. It's gradually getting better though. Last night I did 1 night feed and got up at 5.30 a.m. - I feel like a new woman!

Anyway, don't beat yourself up. There's nothing wrong with you or your parenting if your baby needs to wake in the night, particularly for a feed. Being a good mother means responding to the baby you have and their needs, not conforming to an unrealistic stereotype.

Hang in there. It will get easier!

My 3 YEAR old has only just started reliably doing 8-7!

No where near a routine until 10 months.

Gosh you are absolutely not failing! You’ve been sold lies to make you feel that there’s something wrong with you or your baby

you will never get this time back. Carry on letting your baby sleep in your arms because you will never regret it, you’ll never wish you held your baby less.

she is still so young, please don’t worry about a routine at this tiny age. She will find her own and one day you’ll look back on this time and wonder why you ever fretted

fwiw, most babies at 3 months old do not sleep 7-7 so please don’t think your failing. Babies by nature are meant to wake up overnight, not just for feeds but it helps them to regulate themselves and lowers the risk of SIDS

Neither of mine slept reliably 7 to 7 until they reached 3 yrs old.

Start trying routines when they are 6 months old (If you want to) not now, it's way too early.

Mine is 13 (years) and still not got a routine.

You’re absolutely not failing. You need better things to read.

You're probably still a bit too early for this. We found at somewhere around the 3 month mark that our baby started being disturbed by noise and lights in the evening when she was downstairs with us, so at that point we started putting her to bed in our room by about 7.30pm. Then dream
feed at about 10.15pm when we went to bed, then she'd sleep through to about 6.30am.

But it was really guided by her needs. Until then she hadn't been bothered by noises like washing up or the TV on but sometime around then she started to be and just couldn't settle.

The safe sleep guidance made me really worried as it said she should always be in the same room until six months, but that didn't seem practical as she was being disturbed downstairs and one of us couldn't go to bed with her at 7.30pm. And neither was having really dim lighting downstairs as I had PND and needed things to be light.

Who are these people with unicorn babies sleeping through at 3 months?!
Our baby was downstairs with us until we went to bed at that age. We started a bed time routine at 4 months where he went down before us, which took a while to cement! He was in our bedroom until 5.5 months though. And still nowhere near sleeping through consistently at nearly 9 months!
The sleep regression is looming so try just to embrace them as they are and chill! The cuddles are so delicious and you will miss this time.

Both my friends children slept through from 4 weeks 7-7. They lied to most people and feigned exhaustion from being up all night and correctly kept up the pretense that unicorns are mythical!

My dad slept through from 8 weeks actual 36w gestation corrected but I really think my gran should have listened to the doctors and kept up his 3hly feeds through the night!

My 8 month old had been in a routine since 6 month. That's something he's fallen into naturally. He sleeps 6-6 but he wakes 3-4 times a night wanting his dummy. He can find it and put it in himself bit he's too bloody lazy and likes to know that we are still about!

Don't listen to other people. Every baby is different. It's ok for a 3 month old not to be in a routine.

May I ask what your baby's sleep routine was like before they got into a proper routine at 6 months?

It was all over the place. He'd sleep for a couple of hours while downstairs with us but once he was upstairs he'd wake (anything from) half hourly to 3 hours depending on what mood he was in/how over tired he was.