can i really carry on with my course and have a baby in the middle of it?

[fairylights]

I have one ds who is 16 mo and I am doing a graduate diploma in law part time, intending to become a solicitor at the end of it which means 3 years of study after this one and then probably having to work full time for a couple of years at least. The course is very full on, i have to hand in an essay a week and have big exams at the end of the year, but life between june and october should be study-free more or less.
I would love to have a couple more children and just can't decide if i will need to take time out to have more or whether i should just keep going at the course and hope another baby will fit in (??!!) - of course if i could plan conception perfectly it would make sense to havea baby in the summer but my last pg was awful and i ended up in hospital to be re-hydrated because of a severe vomitting condition so i wouldn't be able to carry on with the course if i was like that again.
I know there are women out there who have studied etc and had a baby in the middle of it (!) - any stories, advice welcome! Ta!

ps sorry for long post!

I did! It was bloody hard work and I got bad PND (but that was relieved by the work I found!). Wouldn't want to do it again, but it was the right thing timing wise at the time so if I was back then I would do it again iyswim?
I timed conception so ds was born in July (lucky, obviously - I'd planned 3 months of trying, to coincide birth with summer vac assuming all went well, then if no success I was going to stop and try for the same 3 months the following year). I went back to lectures with little one in tow for the autumn term as the nurseries wouldn't take him til 6 months old (and didn't have to hand essays in that term), then back on full steam from January. Got a first!

ahem - I was working and doing a MSc when I got pregnant for first time. I was due in August and my Masters project was due in September. I had every intention of completing my project but it didn't happen - I passed all the exams so I have a post grad qualification but not a masters degree which I am sad about.

The main issue was that as soon as I went on Maternity leave in June I was out of the environment which provided the material for my project - I knew I would not be returning to work so my motivation was gone. I found myself doing a lot of baby related tinternet shopping and not a lot of study.

Your situation is different - this is not your first baby but as you point out complications can occur - If you think you can motivate yourself enough then it is doable - I found my concentration ebbed away. But I did manage to complete the exams etc so if you can time conception and do not need to study over summer then it is possible- but what about the October term with tiny baby??

Good luck with studies and or baby

thanks ladies.. hmm i really don't know what i think - currently i am just telling myself to get thru the exams in june and then to re-evaluate how we are feeling about the matter!
Any more wise words welcome..

hi

i was just having a sentimental wander through 'student parents' and found your post.

i got pregnant 12 weeks into th efirst year of my four year full time degree course.

my mum (who studied and worked pregnant and whilst working) said 'of course you can do it...you wont do as well as you otherwise might...but of COURSE you can do it'

it turned out she was right!

it WAS a slog and i didnt have any really serious preg complications...but on the whole i say 'leap and teh bridge will appear'

i also remember someone on here saying 'like a donkey i go best fully loaded'...whcih is true of me.

one more thing (yawn)...other stuff in life might get in the way of your studies too..so its not as if you'll necessarily have an easy ride anyway.

verdict:go for it

oh and then i went and had another in my fourth year...should really think about earning some money now!

I got pregnant half way through my first years of a 4 degree course. It was christmas and i was back home at my parents with my boyfriend. uni was 250 miles away. i found out in january and returned to uni in the february on my own in halls. i went to all the appointments and scans on my own as my boyfriend couldn't afford time off work or petrol money to get to me. i had a year out of uni and moved into a one bedroomed flat with my boyfiend. as i had not been working, with only 70 pound left of my student loan and my partner only earning £180 a week, and not being entitled to any benefits I had my son. Between me living uni after my first year and my son being born, after all bills had been paid we were living on between £5 and £10 a week for food for both of us. I returned to the same uni with my partner and son. he now attends nursery and with a bit of luck i should get a 2:1.

thanks beansontoast and lauracolley - what inspirational women you are!! And Laura - i am in awe of you managing with so little £ as well, you must be made of stern stuff..
i really hope you get your 2:1 and get a wonderful, fulfilling job afterwards..
i am thinking that i will aim to get pg so that i have a summer/early autumn baby, so i would be pg whilst doing part of my course next year - if it turns out that i have an awful pg again then i will leave and rejoin the following year. Of course, all this requires me getting pg at the right moment, it happened v quickly last time but maybe not this time?? Who knows..
I totally agree with what you say beans, you never really know what life will throw at you so there is no point in trying to over-plan anything.
All the best to you in what you do

Just to say good luck fairylights, I'm planning on kind of doing the same as you. I'm starting a two year part time MSc this September, planning to try and conceive so I'll have dc2 in the summer of next year, then getting back on with course whilst on Mat leave the following year. Hopefully it will work out for both of us, lol, think I'll need to suddenly become super organised before then!

I am now 8 weeks from the end of my degree and found out I was pg with DC2 in September, right at the start of the year. As it is, my due date coincides with the end of year hand ins for the dissertation and also for an exam. At the moment, it is hard because of all the things I need to hand in before they are actually due in, but this is more about me actually graduating this year. I can't afford to put it off because I have plans for other studies come September (although not as intense as a degree!).

The support from uni has been brilliant and so far, it has been ok. DC2 was unplanned but it seems it will all work out in the end. My only problem now is staying motivated in this last 8 weeks because my body now wants to rest!

I have had some pg related illness, resulting in 2 hospital stays, but have so far managed to keep on top of it all. I've not needed an extension for anything so far and I don't intend to ask for one now (even though the baby might have other ideas!). DD is 4 and is due to go to school in September so all in all, things have worked out quite well.

It is hard hard hard work juggling uni with housework and a 4 year old but it has been so worth it. I've recieved the letter today informing me of the graduation ceremony I am due to attend and tbh, this is the pushing point/motivator for me now in these final few weeks.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I have also found MN great for motivation and support (providing I'm not sitting looking at irrelevant threads )

Oh and another thing, a colleague at uni has just had a baby in the last month and was back the following week, although not doing as many hours. I am in awe at her tbh plodding on through it but it is the graduation now keeping everyone focused.

How long is your course? Once they hit three (imo) it gets a HELL of a lot harder! I have studied from dd being 8 mo and the first three years were fine, but it gets so much harder once they are older. I don't mean to put a dampner on things at all and think you are great for wanting to further yourself, but thing very very carefully-two over three's would kill me-I would have left my course. You do not have nap times so have to write weekends off completely, and they don't go to bed until later, so I don't start my essays until at least 10.30pm, plus the daily battles to get dressed, hair washed, teeth brushed, coat on etc. You also loose the sleep-deprivation stamina. See if you can find other students with older children and talk to them before you make a firm decision, I'm not saying don't do it though

I did a 4 year distance MSc had a dd aged 10 months at the beginning, had ds1 in the middle and ds2 to celebrate the end of it!

I sat exams when ds1 was six weeks old and boy it was tough but I wrote a letter to the exam body explaining about my sleep deficiency and though I never knew if it actually helped I did pass those exams.

My top tips would be that a) you have to really want to do it(the course that is!) b) be super organised with the dc and stick to a serious study schedule c)don't be afraid to ask for help/support/understanding from your tutors d) get the next set of modules in advance and work little by little during your holiday times too to ease the term-time pressure.

Good luck!