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Baby having hard time at co parents

3 replies

littleheartsx · 15/03/2024 15:48

Hi, my little boy is almost one he is and always has been a horrendous sleeper. He wakes around 6 times throughout the night, most times he isn’t actually awake just whinging in his sleep - but it wakes me up lol. We co - sleep and I am happy to keep it this way.

He stays with me for 6 nights then goes to his dads for two nights, where he also co sleeps - the two overnights started at the end of January. His dad has missed quite a few overnights due to nights out or illness. When he returns it probably takes 2-3 days for our son to get back to his normal self, that in itself is super hard for me as I work from home night shift and don’t have any help with childcare.

His dad has told me that his sleep there is even worse than usual, waking every 10-20 minutes, 40 minutes on a good night and he has never slept longer than an hour without waking.

He isn’t in any pain or discomfort as far as I am aware we have ruled out colic and all the rest.

I would never in a million years ever ever withhold my baby from his dad but I am starting to think he is maybe too little for this kind of routine and to maybe try overnights with his dad at a later time , perhaps when he is 18 months. I know there can be a 12 month regression. His dad is also really struggling with the lack of sleep, and I am scared that we aren’t doing what is in our babies best interest. There is a lot going on in his little brain and I just don’t want to put anymore pressure on him, as he is still so little.

Should we go back to overnights at mines only, or should I persevere?

His dads house is a lot different from mine, here its more calm and quiet and busier at his dads, so there is quite a big change in his environment.

Ultimately it’s about doing what’s right for our son just now, as he is still only a baby, as he gets older we would obviously be more stricter with sticking to the routine as it’s really important that he has a great relationship with us both.

Advice please?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CadyEastman · 15/03/2024 18:40

@littleheartsx you might get a few more responses if you ask on the Relationship section. Hope you get some responses Flowers

Imisscoffee2021 · 15/03/2024 21:12

Sounds like he needs to not sleep at hisndads til he's sleeping through, or that instead of 6 in a row with you then 2 with dad perhaps 3 and 2 so he's not having a long stretch with you then getting a shock with dad's, or perhaps even 3 and 1 so he's still getting same amount of time but spaced more. Sounds like it's be best for him not to do overnights til he sleeps through however and prioritise day time for dad more to balance it out.

koalabearboombox · 15/03/2024 21:49

I think waiting until he's older to do overnights at his dad's is a good idea. You know your baby best and it sounds like you know it's not working right now. Dad could still do the time with DC but perhaps just in the daytime?

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