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Parenting

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4y/o wretches and throws up at his dad's.

12 replies

ChloeJLondon · 15/03/2024 14:59

So my ex has been with his girlfriend for around 6-9 months now, and I feel like she takes the upper hand when parenting our son (she has children of her own) when he's with them.
My son is really fussy with food and can be really funny with the look, feel and taste of different foods so he's very reluctant to try new things. However, since being with his girlfriend, he's returned home with sick on his clothes or has been changed with his sick clothes in a bag. They say they've been "encouraging" him to try new foods, but then saying he's not allowed to leave the table unless he's eaten some or all of it and they've told me before that he's been sat at the table for 1hr 30mins because he didn't want to eat it/didn't like it. I've been told he's wretched and threw up his food because he's stuffing too much in his mouth (which isn't like him at all).
He never wretches or throws up at home and I would never ever make him sit at a table for ages trying to get him to eat something.
They make this the forefront of his visit and my son has cried and said he doesn't want to go because, and I quote, "my dad makes me eat all of my dinner."
I was told last night that he was put in a HIGH CHAIR?!
Apparently that was only because there was a small toddler there who was trying to get to my son's food. But I don't believe that reason.
Im hoping they're telling the truth and are just trying to encourage him to try new foods but I think they're going out it the wrong way.
But in my gut, I'm really worried that there's something going on.
Who can I talk to about this?

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 15/03/2024 18:36

If that's what they're doing it sounds horrendous but I have no idea who you talk to.

Hopefully someone will be along soon who can help.

GrazingSheep · 15/03/2024 18:39

That is abusive.
Do you have to send him?

Rumbunctious · 15/03/2024 18:41

This sounds pretty abusive tbh. Forcing a child to eat, wretching, being sick, put in a high chair and sat at a table for an hour and a half? I’d have his balls on a plate for treating our child like that, or allowing anyone else to treat them like that. I’d be having serious words with his father and I’d be raising my concerns with my solicitor. I also wouldn’t be sending him until the conversation with his father had taken place with an assurance these things wouldn’t be happening. What disgusting treatment of a child.

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Scaffoldingisugly · 15/03/2024 18:42

Make the visits in between meals times only. That's abuse...

CadyEastman · 15/03/2024 18:46

GrazingSheep · 15/03/2024 18:39

That is abusive.
Do you have to send him?

Is there a Court Order in place?

Irridescantshimmmer · 15/03/2024 19:04

That's sooooo cruel.

If this continues, the effects will cause massive psychological issues round food for your child.

Your little boy is only 4.

This needs to stop, full stop

endofthelinefinally · 15/03/2024 19:07

He is under 5 so you can contact your health visitor for help. Your gp surgery can advise, or the contact details will be in his red book.

WeeOrcadian · 15/03/2024 19:07

Do you have a court order which demands he goes?

Scaffoldingisugly · 15/03/2024 20:42

I would consider reporting him to ss. Have it on record.... It is abuse force feeding a dc...

valentinka31 · 16/09/2024 23:12

I'm sorry but there is NO WAY I would be allowing my child to go to them. He has come home with sick on his clothes/ and or changed out of clothes because of being sick? He is crying and begging not to go? He has been forced to sit looking at food for 1.5 hours? This is sadistic and is child abuse. I myself was subjected to something similar with food at school, but only every retched, and was never forced to the point of being sick. But that was school. This is 'home' and a domestic environment. You need to TELL them not to do it, and say he won't be coming unless there is reassurance it stops. Although tbh I couldn't ever send him there again, and I'd tell them I'm happy to discuss this with the Gp and or any child care services. I cannot believe what I'm reading. That poor lad. You MUST not accept this. They are not entitled to do this to him - it is literal child abuse.

valentinka31 · 16/09/2024 23:14

People are saying do you have to send him? Answer is, you are not allowed to send him into an abusive situation, which this is. You have a duty as a parent to protect him. Don't send him back. If you told this to a health visitor or GP, they would be under investigation and he would not be going there again.

valentinka31 · 16/09/2024 23:14

I agree they should be reported so you have it on record.

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