Struggling with 5 month old

[Ckennedy]

Hello, I have a 5 month old ds and a 3 year ds. I’m really struggling to find any routine with them both, my 5 month old constantly wants to be held and he hardly naps for longer than 30
mins and wakes nearly every hour at night. I love my 5 month old but can’t help but remember how easier it was before he was born, I keep waiting for it to get easier and I’m finding it’s getting harder instead.
has anyone got any advice?!

Tackling the sleep issue is the obvious one, but easier said than done! Why do you think he's waking every hour through the night?

For daytime, will he go in a sling so you at least have your hands free? What's he like in a buggy?

Is the three year old at nursery?

I sympathise - I had two DCs very close together, anc the year after DC2 was born was probably the hardest of my life. It did eventually get easier. Maybe when he was about 1? I can't remember exactly. But the combination of baby and toddler was exhausting.

As a previous poster has said, it sounds like sleep is the big issue. However, at 5 months their sleep is still undergoing big changes - it could/probably will all change on its own in a few weeks or months. But you might be able to help your baby sleep better by trying to get him in a bit of a schedule during the day, giving him a 'dream feed' around 11ish maybe, or straight up sleep training (which usually means some form of leaving him to cry).

Also work on getting good naps in during the day, even if it means taking him for a walk to get him to sleep. I'd expect him to need a nap after being awake for about 2 hours at that age. Maybe a bit more or a bit less. Good daytime sleep often helps with night time sleep.

I have a 6 month old who currently has about 3 naps during the day, goes down for the night between 6-7 pm, wakes for a feed around 12.30 and then 3.30, and then is usually up for the day around 4.45 am! I feel like I barely sleep after 12.30. Not ideal, but I can get a few hours in if I go to bed early.

Re constantly wanting to be held, is he happy if sat up with some cushions with a toy (with you in view), or with you talking to him? If you can get him to start doing that for a few minutes at a time, he might start getting more comfortable being out of your arms. You could gradually extend the time he is sat down. Does he have a playmat or a bouncer?

I found the first year the toughest after my second was born. I felt like I didn't meet anyone's needs properly. Not theirs, not mine etc.

I do think it's a bit easier now they're 5 and nearly 3 but it's still hard, so I actually think it gets different, not easier (for now at least) x

Thanks for all your responses

@NuffSaidSam not sure on the night wakings. With the short naps I’m guessing he has trouble connecting sleep cycles. He also still struggles with wind so sometimes he has a burp - it’s been an issue since day one.

he is quite a big baby so I’ve had to reduce the sling to save my back. He’s great in the buggy, I usually manage a lunch time walk with him.

my three year old goes nursery 3 days a week.

@chickpea1982 at least I’m not alone in finding it hard.

we are considering sleep training but want to wait until he’s 6 months. I try get out most days around lunch so he has a decent nap. Sometimes it’s hard with the weather and a toddler but most days works.

he’s not a fan of the play mat or bouncer but happy to be sitting in his pram or floor if I’m nearby.

hoping once he’s able to sit unaided and is more mobile, it won’t be so much of an issue

@gemloving at least I’m not the only one. I just think the sleep qns lack of naps/short naps are the killer at the moment. But I know every phase has its issues. Think I just find 1yr plus that bit easier and enjoy the interaction a bit more.

hoping it gets easier before the 1yr though!

Hi OP how are you doing now your baby is a few months older? I am having the same issue and my LO is nearly 5m!