I'm due to have my 2nd baby in June. I have a 6 year old daughter and sometimes, the thought of being a single mum to 2 kids is just so bloody terrifying!
I don't think it would be much less terrifying if either of the dads where actually involved but then I haven't ever known any different as my daughters dad left when I was still pregnant and hasn't been around since. I don't know if its the thought of doing it alone that scares me or just the thought of doing it at all!
I get so stressed some times. I struggle to keep up with the housework, I get frustrated when helping my daughter with her homework and honestly, with most things at home get me a little down and then when I think about how much harder everything will be with a baby, it makes me wish for a second that I just got an abortion right at the start... and then I hate myself for thinking that, because I cannot wait to meet my son! To watch him grow up and see how amazing my daughter will be with him! and then I beat myself up for even thinking such a thing and how I'm a failure for allowing my house to be such a mess, for getting stressed out over bloody homework suited for a 6 year old and have myself believing I'm a god awful excuse for a mother and maybe they'd both be better off without me.
I don't feel like this often enough to get professional help. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, just hormonal and exhausted and in desperate need of a holiday, wine and cuddle but god when I feel like this, it feels like it'll never end and ill never be happy again. even though I know full well, tomorrow ill wake up and be fine.