To grow my family or not**- sorry for the typo!
I know only I can answer this question along with DH but maybe if we put our thoughts down on paper it would help us decide.
We have two beautiful children, DD is 9 and was an absolute treasure, DS is 3 a bit of a handful but very loving, a little family guy. I love their bond, I enjoyed the gap to focus on my career and we love being a family of 4. DS was a tough baby in terms of sleep, how active he was and we are just coming out of tantrum phase. We've realised he was actually a normal baby and DS was just a chilled baby.
I am feeling broody and would love to have a third, but I know not everything will be as picture perfect as it is in my head. The reasons for wanting another would be to give them another sibling, a better support system for their future. When DD is 20, DS will be 14 and would be good for him to have someone closer to his age as he goes through teenage years but if personality traits remain as you age then I know he will stay very close to DD but at that age she obviously will have her own life too. Now that I have grown my career and life to a very comfortable stage I would like to focus on my family even more-so.
I've read some similar threads and I can see the debate around 2-3 is quite common and the usual concerns around finances arise. We can afford a 3rd, we have a large home, can change cars if needed. We however do not have any family close by for support so school runs are done between us. We both have flexible jobs but I understand the strain with 3 children will be more so than 2.
My worries are our age, I'm 37 and my husband is 41 - but I am aware some people start family planning at this age. We are both healthy, my concern is more around our age affecting a new babies health and how that would impact our family, the time it would take away from the 2 I already have. Yes that would happen with a third anyways but do I want to upset the bond and relationship they have - if you've been in a similar situation how did you manage the change?
Am I too old? I'm scared I will change the dynamics of my family because of my broodiness but I can't shake the feeling of wanting another. When I see my two play together I just imagine another little one being absolutely smitten by them.
I am also very hands-on with teaching about their ancestory and mother tongue, also wondering will it be too much to throw a third in. DD is now at a very independent age, has learned well and is super helpful.
My husband feels the same. We could just 'try and see' but I need to decide whether to come off contraceptives or not and then go for the 'try and see'.
Any thoughts, advice, experiences you could share would be super useful. I would continue to work full time after mat leave but perhaps drop to 4 days.