How to introduce a new baby...

[misboo]

...to 2 year old DS. I am due in 6 weeks and wondering what things i can do to help make the introduction a little easier. I'm hoping he willl love helping, bossing someone else about etc but just in case would like to make it as easy for DS as possible. So far I have:

DS sleeps in his own bed at the end of ours, so he doesn't feel pushed out into his own room for the new baby (he was co sleeping until i got too large!)

Bring DS to the hospital so that he can bring the baby home, rather than finding it established in his house.

Having nobody round to meet the new baby for a week or so -also for my benefit, recovery etc, but hoping this will make it more his brother or sister so that he can show it off to people when they do visit.

Letting him help choose clothes for the new baby etc, and making sure he gets presents if the new baby does.

He loves reading and i think he would benefit from a fun book on this subject - any suggestions?

All tips and experience gratefully received!

A lot of people say get a present from the baby for the older sibling.

With five children, we've been through this many times, and never really found it a problem or a difficult adjustment. They all knew that a new baby was on the way.

Usbornes 'The New Baby' is good for 2-3 year olds, if only to giggle at the pictures (enormous mummy painting cot whilst daddy sits in chair with a cup of tea, their son tipping talcum powder onto the cat etc).

Otherwise, I wouldn't make too much of a big deal out of it, just keep things nice and relaxed and normal - though it's nice if grandparents and visitors spend time with your existing children (rather than knocking them out the way in the stampede to get to the new baby)!

DS1 was nearly 2 years old when DS2 came along.

DS1 came to the hospital after the birth.
I put DS2 on the bed, and I was sat on a chair away from the bed.

We had wrapped a t-shirt with 'I'm A Big Brother' written on it, and DH had given it to him that morning, saying it was from his baby brother.

DS1 got gently on the bed next to DS2, kissed him on the cheek, and said "hello, little one".

Cue floods of tears from all adults in the vicinity!

We have it on video - I am saving it for the wedding receptions!

Oh, and the midwife let DS1 help her carry the carseat containing DS2 to the front door of the hospital, which he loved.

The main thing DD1 remembers about coming to the hospital to visit DD2 was that she had a comic and some raisins!

Glad to hear all the positive experiences, lots of people like to tell you how difficult your first child will find it but i am hoping DS will just carry on as normal, while me and DP possibly collapse under the pressure!

That's pretty much how it is misboo! The only thing is, sometimes one of your DCs will have to cry/feel left out/sulk because you only have one pair of hands (and if your hands are covered in baby poo or toddler vomit then they are not suitable to be opening someone elses box of raisins however loud they shout, they will just have to wait! Don't get upset about it, it's character building).

lol! My dad took the healthy neglect approach with us and i think i will move towards the same!

DD1 adjusted really well. but I did get a few books about babies - not necessarily directly about getting a sibling, some about animals etc.

I think it is important to make the older one feel all important as they will be able to help teach the baby etc. But it is equally important not to play up the playmate angle - as that won't happen for a long time. We did the present thing from the baby to DD1, and DD1 made a lovely mobile for DD2.

Some kids get all protective of the baby, and others do get jealous. It is best to play it by ear. If he doesn't know the baby is coming yet, you do need to get a shifty on with that. I told DC quite early, about 3 months (had to explain the constant sickness) so they have had plenty of time to get used to it...

Good luck, and congrats!

I think if you have friends with a baby it's a good idea to get your ds used to being around a baby before yours is born. dd was 22 months when ds was born and hated the noise of him crying! Of course she got used to it, but I think if she had got over that before he was born it may have helped! Of course they are best pals now