I've posted on here before about my 18y/o son and his total lack of respect for our home and unwillingness to do absolutely anything. I work full time and come home to a bombsite constantly.
I had a day planned for myself and my two sons today. A nice day out followed by a steak dinner when we got home. I've been a single mum for years, as their dad was quite abusive and has not seen any of us for over 6 years, so it's just us three. My 18 y/o announced last night that we couldn't do that as he now had work and dinner needed to be done before 5pm. I was a bit gutted, as he never comes anywhere unless it's for food and I'm paying, but I said ok and that was that.
My youngest woke me up today to Happy Mother's Day mummy and a big hug. He was worried that he hadn't got me anything, but as I'd offered to send his brother money to buy me a gift yesterday and a response of "it's fine don't worry about it", I said not to worry about it, as he'd have got something off them both.
I haven't spoken to my own mum in two years since her and my dad assaulted me in front of my youngest a couple of years ago (I grew up in an abusive household, a massive part of why I ending up in an abusive relationship myself. I have since had counselling and addressed a lot), so when I say it's just us three, it really is.
I have recently given my son £2,000 inheritance I received late last year from my grandfather, as he wanted to go to India this summer, before heading off to uni in September. I've paid for so much for him this year, really struggling myself with the cost of Living etc. He has said he's struggling to work due to poor mental health and being stressed, and so ive been paying for talking therapy for him. I've paid as much as I can afford as a single mum. I never get a thanks or anything at all.
Come half 11, my youngest son was so fed up of waiting for him to come get him to write on a card, he's gone and woke him up. He sits up till silly o clock and then won't get up till noon. He's then come down in a bit of a huff, then gave me a box of £3 chocolates in a co op bag. My son said "mum doesn't like chocolate", so he stuffed them back in the bag and mumbled "sorry" and walked out. He's now bumping and banging upstairs. Slamming around.
I am so worried that he will be like his dad, or my parents when he meets a boy and settles down. My parents never liked celebrating my birthday, he has never seen anyone actually do anything nice for me or really show me love. He is always in my pocket, gave me a list of presents worth hundreds of pounds for Christmas, as well as requesting money, wants help towards India, driving, trips away, always buying clothes for himself, aftershave, but detests spending anything on me or his brother. I completely agree it's the thought that counts, but I am petrified that he will be like his dad. Get someone in debt because of greed and lack of work ethic, give nothing back and leave them in the dark. I worry that because he's never seen anyone really be kind, apart from me to my kids, that he thinks it's normal to be selfish and expect but not give back, as there should be in any relationship. AIBU?