Ppa and ppd

[Namechange11223344]

Hi all

I don’t know exactly what I want to achieve with this post but I don’t have anyone to talk to about all this (I have been to the gp but I mean friends)

im a ftm mum to a almost 9 month old baby , we had a anxious pregnancy (I’ve always had anxiety) and ended up my worst fear a emergency c section which I have struggled greatly with, it also affected my bond in the beginning.

when we got home I wouldn’t let anyone hold my baby or help in anyway (still won’t I just feel like it’s my job my responsibility but I know that is the anxiety at play :( )

fast forward a few month baby was a great feeder always drained her bottles and then when she stopped finishing them (obviously she didn’t need/want them she probably was going through growth spurts ect) I panicked and then started me trying to persuade her to finish bottles which as you can imagine led to a very bad bottle aversion, logging every feed turned into some type of ocd, and I still can’t break that habit.

now I have a almost 9 month old who will not take a bottle but otherwise eats her food very well , I’ve spoken too a dietitian over the phone (appointment next month) and she has told me she’s not one bit concerned and if she never had another bottle of formula again she wouldn’t worry.

I just feel awful and so stupid (2 a&e trips and a lot of gp visits due to me worrying she wasn’t having enough formula and tbf according to the guildlines she was having way less than half that even )that I’ve cause this I’ve ruined this precious time we had together :( I’m so annoyed and angry with myself:(

How big is she? My dd was like this and she's on the 2nd centile for height and weight now she's 14. She still hardly eats anything just isn't a big eater. Her brother is on the 91st centile and eats tripe what she does

@ZombieBoob she’s big says actually on the 91st centile too and 98th for height

What did you GP say when you spoke to them about your anxiety?

I sympathise, it took me a year to stop logging every single feed & nap, but I eventually really questioned why I was doing it and if it was actually helping me or just causing me more work & worry?

Can you get regular weigh ins with the health visitor to check baby is putting on enoiugh weight? Hopefully that would put your mind at ease a bit.

Aww in that case you have obviously been doing things right. Just think your not going to have to wean her off bottles like most other parents. I had ppa with my 2nd and mine was ocd around sleep. To be fair I was getting about 45mins of sleep a night. I try to think of it like I did what I could at the time. Lack of sleep and at the time, complete different brain chemistry made me into a completely different person. My 2nd is now 6 and is just amazing! Our bond is no different to my other kids and he now sleeps amazingly!