covid + new baby

[cjfromauckland]

Hi everybody,

Really just looking for some support rather than advice, if that's okay.

My husband tested positive for COVID a couple of days after our baby was born by emergency c-section and had to leave the hospital; I decided to leave too as I would. For the last ten days I've been a nervous wreck expecting both me and baby to catch it, but so far we seem to have escaped.

We've been isolating as much as possible, although I'm almost completely reliant on my husband for heavy lifting (including baby) due to the pain I've been experiencing after the surgery, so isolating completely wasn't an option.

Yesterday (seven days after symptoms) his positive line looked a lot fainter and I thought we were finally finished and I could have visitors and we could get things I needed again. But today, positive line as strong as ever.

I can't stop crying. I'm just so sick of being scared all the time. I can't really enjoy my newborn. The pain doesn't help. I know it's not his fault, but I'm angry at my husband and can't seem to make myself stop. I'm lonely, and honestly I just want a hug. I haven't had a hug since husband first tested. I don't want to get sick, especially since I'm pretty certain coughing would be excruciating. I definitely don't want baby to get sick. I'm sleeping on the sofa with baby next to me and I'm not sleeping very well. I worry about whether he's showing symptoms - whether his breathing is normal, whether his little snuffles are actually a cough, whether he has a temperature. I'm not sure how much more I can take.

I do have a counsellor, for those of you who might be worried, but she's Monday-Thursday at right now it's the weekend here. I've had a lot of good experiences with Mumsnetters, who might have deduced that I have a problem with anxiety, so I thought I would see if I can at least get some kind words.

Thanks in advance,

CJ

Please please PLEASE do not sleep on the sofa with the baby, it’s very dangerous and a massive SIDS risk. I will do a longer reply later but needed to post this quickly

Aw love.

It's going to be just fine. It really really is!

I had a stomach operation in 2021 with stitches almost right around me from front to back, two days later my daughter got Covid and I was terrified of getting it and ending up with a terrible cough.

But I didn't, and I was fine, and she was fine.

You're feeling really vulnerable and knackered and lonely. Of course you are, you're a new mum apart from anything else! If I were you I'd start seeing people, you are not positive and it will really boost you so much.

Take it easy on yourself; the first few weeks are no picnic as it is, and nobody expects you to be doing any more or any better than you are.

Do something nice for yourself when the baby is sleeping; even a face mask or a magazine or some chocolate, nice clean jammies and a coffee. Take little moments for yourself that stop your mind running away from you.

Love to you. Congrats on your baby!

@GoodnightAdeline

Sorry that was badly worded. He has a bassinette that is set up next to the sofa where I am sleeping. When I am awake I have the side lowered so he can see me but I put it up when I'm ready to try to sleep, or when he dozes off.

@Gibs0nGirl

Thanks :)

I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time, but it's so hard.

I just found out a midwife is coming to check on baby so at least that will be company. She will wear PPE and husband will be in another room.

Hi CJ,

What a tough few weeks of motherhood you’ve had so far, it sounds like you are doing amazingly though even if you don’t feel it right now!

I would suggest getting into the bed if you can (I’m assuming you’ll have to swap with hubby) but it’s amazing what a couple of hours of sleep in a cosy bed can do for you instead of a sofa - especially after a c section too!

I think visitors as long as you are feeling up to them would be a welcome occasion right now too - just warn them in advance re covid and they can decide whether they still want to come or if they want to hang off a little while!

Our little boy is 16 weeks now but he caught covid very early on and you wouldn’t have even known he’d had it if it wasn’t for his temperature. I was so worried about illnesses early on too so hopefully a good recovery/illness story will help!

That is such horrible timing and it is normal to feels angry. Have a hug from me.

I know it's not the same, but if you wrap your arms around yourself and gently pat the opposite shoulder with the opposite hand, first one side, then the other, this can be soothing.

I also have a yoga nidra to share.. it's a restful relaxation, (no actual yoga!) I will send it by PM.

Having a new baby and recovering from a c-section is challenging under normal circumstances, the added fear of covid is a huge extra layer.

Be kind to yourself, video call family and friends, encourage them to send care parcels, don't be afraid to tell people what you think would make you feel better.... chocolate, cake, pizza.. watch feel good / funny things on TV, keep music on for company.

@JaffaCakes197

Thank you so much - it did help a lot learning that your little one was not badly affected; I've been imagining the worst!

It has been really hard. I've been a bit depressed, but trying to engage with baby and smile and talk to him. I really do love him so so much!

@ChateauMargaux

I got the video through my DMs - thank you!

I've never tried giving myself a hug before, but I will. My family are all technophobes, but I'll make the most of my husband's parents and sister, who are all lovely and will be available for video calls, lol.

Comfort food sounds like an excellent idea too. Thanks again for your kind words and suggestions.

Hi CJ,
Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing?
Hopefully your husband is testing negative now and you and baby have managed to avoid covid!

Hope you’ve had a nice first Mother’s Day!

@JaffaCakes197

Thank you so much - unfortunately husband is still testing positive but so far bubs and I seem to have avoided it. It's still very nerve-wracking, but my sister-in-law and niece and nephew braved the virus (on the basis that it has been a week since infection) to visit today, which made me feel a little better. It also helps that the weather has been a bit cooler so I don't have to constantly wonder whether baby has a temperature or whether he's just a bit warm (I'm in New Zealand, and we've just finished summer here)!

Thanks again for thinking about me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for negative results all around tomorrow!

CJ

Just because he is testing positive doesnt mean he is still contagious

I showed positive for more than 3 weeks
Get him to scrub everything down, change the bed etc and then get back to normal

This.

Op I honestly think you should return to ‘normal’. Babies and children don’t tend to be affected as much from covid. But also, PP also echos what I was told by Gp. A positive test especially at a later stage doesn’t mean it’s contagious. It’s mostly likely that it’s no longer contagious.

I had covid in third trimester last year. It just made my existing cough (due to the position of the baby) worse for a bit. My DH, my 3 year old and everyone else coming into the house were all fine.

I'm pregnant and my hubby got COVID last month. Here's some facts to cheer you up.

80% of people get COVID from 20% of people - these people are called 'super-spreaders'. It could be genetic or just that they had a particularly high virus load (we don't know the reason in short). This resulted in a surprisingly low amount of people catching COVID from people they live with, in fact with some strains, 2 individuals living together with COVID at the same time were statistically likely to have caught it from separate individuals outside of the home - not each other!

I didn't get COVID in the end but when I looked into it, it's really less worrisome than I expected - although with such a little tiny new life it must be hard to believe. x

@PeopleAreWeird

I have considered that, but he still has a really nasty chesty cough that's making me nervous. Our midwife did say that COVID coughs can persist for months after the infection resolves, so I try to convince myself that it's fine, but baby is so little and helpless that common sense tends to go out the window!

The "positive" test is a very, very faint line today, which hopefully bodes well.

CJ

@mydrivingisterrible

Thank you - that actually does cheer me up!

Baby still seems fine, and I have no symptoms, so hopefully you're right!

I love your user name ;)

CJ

@cjfromauckland So do my driving insurers 🤣

Coughs from lots of infections, can last weeks, even months and arent contagious after awhile

H

If it helps, I actually had COVID when DD2 was born. As far as I know, she never got it, certainly she never got ill from it.